She answered, "Certainly." She would not miss it on any account. The
news had surprised her very much; she did not add that, although she had
seen Benny every day, he had said no word to her. This was for her own
thoughts, which now engrossed her so that she was very glad when they
came down to her chalet and she could say "Good-bye." Even there it was
possible to remark the number of the sleighs now driving up the valley
from Sierre. And the flags and the bunting! She had been blind to them
hitherto. But now they spoke eloquently of a man who had befriended her
beyond any she had known. And to his hopes and ambitions she had hardly
given a thought during that long week of watching and waiting! This was
the truth, and it was not unaccompanied by regret. She remembered her
promise to Brother Jack and wondered that she could have broken it.
To be sure, there had been excuse enough. Long days of a terrible doubt
had left her at the last almost beyond the influence of fear or hope.
Luton himself had not written to her—she was glad of his silence. All
the tidings that Benny had was a brief note from him in which he
described his arrival at Locarno, and his occupation of the shanty. The
threatened inquisition upon the part of the Swiss police had not become
a reality. The crime at Vermala appeared to be already forgotten by the
authorities, as it had ceased to interest the visitors. Probably most
people now believed that it had been an accident. Lily could almost
persuade herself that this view was right. Luton would remain a little
while at the lakeside, and then go South. The accusing hours, when the
truth would not be hidden, were to be combatted with new courage in the
face of this unexpected respite.
It was a quarter to two when she entered the chalet and nearly half an
hour later when the post arrived from Sierre; to her great surprise
there was a letter from Italy—the only letter that day—and she perceived
immediately that it was in Luton’s handwriting. Letters from him during
recent years had been rare events and coincided with his pecuniary
needs; but she had not read many lines of this particular epistle before
she detected a new note. Here was an _apologia pro vita sua_; she knew
not at first whether to believe it serious or a jest.
He spoke of his departure from Andana, and of the terrible circumstance
of it. Like all men who fall foul of the world, he was eloquent in
self-defence and could make out a pretty case.
What he seemed to feel acutely was the degradation of the tragedy. Had
it been different, an affair in which honour had been compromised, it
would have been defensible; but this poor devil of a soldier, against
whom he had no possible grudge, that was humiliation enough. From which
he passed on to deplore his heritage of character, naming himself as a
man predestined to the enmity of his fellows, and without that power of
will which alone could have saved him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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