White nights, and other storiesDostoyevsky, Fyodor
General
White nights, and other stories
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor, 1821-1881 -- Translations into English; Russian fiction -- Translations into English
I remember that the day after my arrival private theatricals were being
got up. The drawing-room was, as they say, packed to overflowing; there
was not a seat empty, and as I was somehow late I had to enjoy the
performance standing. But the amusing play attracted me to move
forwarder and forwarder, and unconsciously I made my way to the first
row, where I stood at last leaning my elbows on the back of an armchair,
in which a lady was sitting. It was my blonde divinity, but we had not
yet made acquaintance. And I gazed, as it happened, at her marvellous,
fascinating shoulders, plump and white as milk, though it did not matter
to me in the least whether I stared at a woman's exquisite shoulders or
at the cap with flaming ribbons that covered the grey locks of a
venerable lady in the front row. Near my blonde divinity sat a spinster
lady not in her first youth, one of those who, as I chanced to observe
later, always take refuge in the immediate neighbourhood of young and
pretty women, selecting such as are not fond of cold-shouldering young
men. But that is not the point, only this lady, noting my fixed gaze,
bent down to her neighbour and with a simper whispered something in her
ear. The blonde lady turned at once, and I remember that her glowing
eyes so flashed upon me in the half dark, that, not prepared to meet
them, I started as though I were scalded. The beauty smiled.
"Do you like what they are acting?" she asked, looking into my face with
a shy and mocking expression.
"Yes," I answered, still gazing at her with a sort of wonder that
evidently pleased her.
"But why are you standing? You'll get tired. Can't you find a seat?"
"That's just it, I can't," I answered, more occupied with my grievance
than with the beauty's sparkling eyes, and rejoicing in earnest at
having found a kind heart to whom I could confide my troubles. "I have
looked everywhere, but all the chairs are taken," I added, as though
complaining to her that all the chairs were taken.
"Come here," she said briskly, quick to act on every decision, and,
indeed, on every mad idea that flashed on her giddy brain, "come here,
and sit on my knee."
"On your knee," I repeated, taken aback. I have mentioned already that I
had begun to resent the privileges of childhood and to be ashamed of
them in earnest. This lady, as though in derision, had gone ever so much
further than the others. Moreover, I had always been a shy and bashful
boy, and of late had begun to be particularly shy with women.
"Why yes, on my knee. Why don't you want to sit on my knee?" she
persisted, beginning to laugh more and more, so that at last she was
simply giggling, goodness knows at what, perhaps at her freak, or
perhaps at my confusion. But that was just what she wanted.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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