White nights, and other storiesDostoyevsky, Fyodor
General
White nights, and other stories
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor, 1821-1881 -- Translations into English; Russian fiction -- Translations into English
not succeeded in analysing till then, of which I had been as it were
afraid, partly entered into it. I went on lying on my bed in despair and
misery, hiding my face in my pillow, and I was alternately feverish and
shivery. I was tormented by two questions: first, what had the wretched
fair beauty seen, and, in fact, what could she have seen that morning in
the copse between Mme. M. and me? And secondly, how could I now look
Mme. M. in the face without dying on the spot of shame and despair?
An extraordinary noise in the yard roused me at last from the state of
semi-consciousness into which I had fallen. I got up and went to the
window. The whole yard was packed with carriages, saddle-horses, and
bustling servants. It seemed that they were all setting off; some of the
gentlemen had already mounted their horses, others were taking their
places in the carriages.... Then I remembered the expedition to the
village fête, and little by little an uneasiness came over me; I began
anxiously looking for my pony in the yard; but there was no pony there,
so they must have forgotten me. I could not restrain myself, and rushed
headlong downstairs, thinking no more of unpleasant meetings or my
recent ignominy....
Terrible news awaited me. There was neither a horse nor seat in any of
the carriages to spare for me; everything had been arranged, all the
seats were taken, and I was forced to give place to others. Overwhelmed
by this fresh blow, I stood on the steps and looked mournfully at the
long rows of coaches, carriages, and chaises, in which there was not the
tiniest corner left for me, and at the smartly dressed ladies, whose
horses were restlessly curvetting.
One of the gentlemen was late. They were only waiting for his arrival to
set off. His horse was standing at the door, champing the bit, pawing
the earth with his hoofs, and at every moment starting and rearing. Two
stable-boys were carefully holding him by the bridle, and every one else
apprehensively stood at a respectful distance from him.
A most vexatious circumstance had occurred, which prevented my going. In
addition to the fact that new visitors had arrived, filling up all the
seats, two of the horses had fallen ill, one of them being my pony. But
I was not the only person to suffer: it appeared that there was no horse
for our new visitor, the pale-faced young man of whom I have spoken
already. To get over this difficulty our host had been obliged to have
recourse to the extreme step of offering his fiery unbroken stallion,
adding, to satisfy his conscience, that it was impossible to ride him,
and that they had long intended to sell the beast for its vicious
character, if only a purchaser could be found.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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