White nights, and other storiesDostoyevsky, Fyodor
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White nights, and other stories
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor, 1821-1881 -- Translations into English; Russian fiction -- Translations into English
"I expect you are not such a---- We all know you are a hero and would be
ashamed to be afraid; especially when you will be looked at, you fine
page," she added, with a fleeting glance at Mme. M., whose carriage was
the nearest to the entrance.
A rush of hatred and vengeance had flooded my heart, when the fair
Amazon had approached us with the intention of mounting Tancred.... But
I cannot describe what I felt at this unexpected challenge from the
madcap. Everything was dark before my eyes when I saw her glance at Mme.
M. For an instant an idea flashed through my mind ... but it was only a
moment, less than a moment, like a flash of gunpowder; perhaps it was
the last straw, and I suddenly now was moved to rage as my spirit rose,
so that I longed to put all my enemies to utter confusion, and to
revenge myself on all of them and before everyone, by showing the sort
of person I was. Or whether by some miracle, some prompting from
mediæval history, of which I had known nothing till then, sent whirling
through my giddy brain, images of tournaments, paladins, heroes, lovely
ladies, the clash of swords, shouts and the applause of the crowd, and
amidst those shouts the timid cry of a frightened heart, which moves the
proud soul more sweetly than victory and fame--I don't know whether all
this romantic nonsense was in my head at the time, or whether, more
likely, only the first dawning of the inevitable nonsense that was in
store for me in the future, anyway, I felt that my hour had come. My
heart leaped and shuddered, and I don't remember how, at one bound, I
was down the steps and beside Tancred.
"You think I am afraid?" I cried, boldly and proudly, in such a fever
that I could hardly see, breathless with excitement, and flushing till
the tears scalded my cheeks. "Well, you shall see!" And clutching at
Tancred's mane I put my foot in the stirrup before they had time to make
a movement to stop me; but at that instant Tancred reared, jerked his
head, and with a mighty bound forward wrenched himself out of the hands
of the petrified stable-boys, and dashed off like a hurricane, while
every one cried out in horror.
Goodness knows how I got my other leg over the horse while it was in
full gallop; I can't imagine, either, how I did not lose hold of the
reins. Tancred bore me beyond the trellis gate, turned sharply to the
right and flew along beside the fence regardless of the road. Only at
that moment I heard behind me a shout from fifty voices, and that shout
was echoed in my swooning heart with such a feeling of pride and
pleasure that I shall never forget that mad moment of my boyhood. All
the blood rushed to my head, bewildering me and overpowering my fears. I
was beside myself. There certainly was, as I remember it now, something
of the knight-errant about the exploit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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