White nights, and other storiesDostoyevsky, Fyodor
General
White nights, and other stories
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor, 1821-1881 -- Translations into English; Russian fiction -- Translations into English
I followed her, surprised and perplexed by all that I had seen. My heart
was beating violently, as though from terror. I was, as it were,
benumbed and befogged; my ideas were shattered and turned upside down;
but I remember I was, for some reason, very sad. I got glimpses from
time to time through the green foliage of her white dress before me: I
followed her mechanically, never losing sight of her, though I trembled
at the thought that she might notice me. At last she came out on the
little path that led to the house. After waiting half a minute I, too,
emerged from the bushes; but what was my amazement when I saw lying on
the red sand of the path a sealed packet, which I recognized, from the
first glance, as the one that had been given to Mme. M. ten minutes
before.
I picked it up. On both sides the paper was blank, there was no address
on it. The envelope was not large, but it was fat and heavy, as though
there were three or more sheets of notepaper in it.
What was the meaning of this envelope? No doubt it would explain the
whole mystery. Perhaps in it there was said all that N. had scarcely
hoped to express in their brief, hurried interview. He had not even
dismounted.... Whether he had been in haste or whether he had been
afraid of being false to himself at the hour of parting--God only
knows....
I stopped, without coming out on the path, threw the envelope in the
most conspicuous place on it, and kept my eyes upon it, supposing that
Mme. M. would notice the loss and come back and look for it. But after
waiting four minutes I could stand it no longer, I picked up my find
again, put it in my pocket, and set off to overtake Mme. M. I came upon
her in the big avenue in the garden. She was walking straight towards
the house with a swift and hurried step, though she was lost in thought,
and her eyes were on the ground. I did not know what to do. Go up to
her, give it her? That would be as good as saying that I knew
everything, that I had seen it all. I should betray myself at the first
word. And how should I look, at her? How would she look at me. I kept
expecting that she would discover her loss and return on her tracks.
Then I could, unnoticed, have flung the envelope on the path and she
would have found it. But no! We were approaching the house; she had
already been noticed....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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