Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
of excitement, this step that was coming--falling dull and dead when the
step was past, rousing up again to the next, feeling herself helpless,
miserable, a slave to the anguish which dominated her, and against which
reason itself could make no stand. Every morning she woke saying to
herself that she would not allow herself to be so miserable again, and
every night fell back into the clutches of this passion, which gripped
at her and consumed her. When Herbert came in early and “like
himself”--that is to say, with no traces of excitement or levity--the
torture would stop in a moment, and a delicious repose would come over
her soul; but next night it came back again the same as ever, and poor
Reine’s struggles to keep mastery of herself were all in vain. There are
hundreds of women who well know exactly how she felt, and what an
absorbing fever it was which had seized upon her. She had more reason
than she really knew for her fears, for Herbert was playing with his
newly-acquired health in the rashest way, and though he was doing no
great harm, had yet departed totally from that ideal which had been his,
as well as his sister’s, but a short time before. He had lost altogether
the tender gratitude of that moment when he thought he was being cured
in a half miraculous, heavenly way, and when his first simple boyish
thought was how good it became him to be, to prove the thankfulness of
which his heart was full. He had forgotten now about being thankful. He
was glad, delighted to be well, and half believed that he had some
personal credit in it. He had “cheated the doctors”--it was not they who
had cured him, but presumably something great and vigorous in himself
which had triumphed over all difficulties; and now he had a right to
enjoy himself in proportion to--what he began to think--the self-denial
of past years. Both the brother and sister had very much fallen off from
that state of elevation above the world which had been temporarily
theirs in that wonderful moment at Kandersteg; and they had begun to
feel the effect of those drawbacks which every great change brings with
it, even when the change is altogether blessed, and has been looked
forward to with hope for years.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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