Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
words seemed as idle words to the girl, who could think of nothing
better or brighter than to nurse Herbert forever and be his perpetual
companion.
Without him her life shrank into a miserable confusion and nothingness.
With him, however ill he might be, however weak, she had her certain and
visible place in the world, her duties which were dear to her, and was
to herself a recognizable existence; but without Herbert, Reine could
not realize herself. To think, as her mother had suggested, of what
would happen to her when he died, of the funeral, and the dismal
desolation after, was impossible to her. Her soul sickened and refused
to look at such depths of misery; but yet when, more vaguely, the idea
of being left alone had presented itself to her, Reine had felt with a
gasp of breathless anguish, that nothing of her except the very husk and
rind of herself could survive Herbert. How could she live without him?
To be the least thought of in her mother’s house, the last in it, yet
not of it, disposed of by a man who was not her father, and whose very
existence was an insult to her, and pushed aside by the children whom
she never called brothers and sisters; it would not be she who should
bear this, but some poor shell of her, some ghost who might bear her
name.
On the special night which we have just described, when the possibility
of recovery for her brother again burst upon her, she sat up late with
her window open, looking out upon the moonlight as it lighted up the
snow-peaks. They stood round in a close circle, peak upon peak,
noiseless as ghosts and as pale, abstracted, yet somehow looking to her
excited imagination as if they put their great heads together in the
silence, and murmured to each other something about Herbert. It seemed
to Reine that the pines too were saying something, but that was sadder,
and chilled her. Earth and heaven were full of Herbert, everything was
occupied about him; which indeed suited well enough with that other
fantastic frenzy of hers, that God was thinking it over again, and that
there was a pause in all the elements of waiting, to know how it was to
be. François, Herbert’s faithful servant, always sat up with him at
night or slept in his room when the vigil was unnecessary, so that Reine
was never called upon thus to exhaust her strength. She stole into her
brother’s room again in the middle of the night before she went to bed.
He was still asleep, sleeping calmly without any hardness of breathing,
without any feverish flush on his cheek or exhausting moisture on his
forehead. He was still and in perfect rest, so happy and comfortable
that François had coiled himself upon his truckle-bed and slept as
soundly as the invalid he was watching. Reine laid her hand upon
Herbert’s forehead lightly, to feel how cool it was; he stirred a
little, but no more than a child would, and by the light of the faint
night-lamp, she saw that a smile came over his face like a ray of
sunshine.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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