So that was it, was it? He had been relegated to the hangers-on,
reduced to the ranks, put into the position of any one of the number of
extraneous men who hung round this girl-child for a smile and a word!
That was the way he was to be treated, he, Gilbert Palgrave, the
connoisseur, the decorative and hitherto indifferent man who had
refused to be subjected to any form of discipline, who had never, until
Joan had come into his life, allowed any one to put him a single inch
out of his way, who had been triumphantly one-eyed and selfish,--that
was the way he was to be treated by the very girl who had fulfilled his
once wistful hope of making him stand, eager and startled and love-sick
among the chaos of individualism and indolence, who had shaken him into
the Great Emotion! Yes, by God, he'd know about that.
Bare-headed and surging with untranslatable anger he started walking.
He was in no mood to go into the drawing-room and cut into a game of
bridge and show his teeth and talk the pleasant inanities of polite
society. All the stucco of civilization fell about him in slabs as he
made his way with long strides out of the Hosacks' place, across the
sandy road and on to the springy turf of the golf links. It didn't
matter where he went so long as he got elbow room for his indignation,
breathing space for his rage and a wide loneliness for his blasphemy....
He had stood humble and patient before this virginal girl. He had
confessed himself to her with the tremendous honesty of a man made
simple by an overwhelming love. She was married. So was he. But what
did that matter to either of them whose only laws were self-made? The
man to whom she was not even tied meant as little to her as the girl he
had foolishly married meant or would ever mean to him. He had placed
himself at her beck and call. In order to give her amusement he had
taken her to places in which he wouldn't have been seen dead, had
danced his good hours of sleep away for the pleasure of seeing her
pleased, had revolutionized his methods with women and paid her tribute
by the most scrupulous behavior and, finally, instead of setting out to
turn her head with pearls and diamonds and carry her by storm while she
was under the hypnotic influence of priceless glittering things for
bodily adornment, which render so many women easy to take, he had
recognized her as intelligent and paid her the compliment of treating
her as such, had stated his case and waited for the time when the blaze
of love would set her alight and bring her to his arms.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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