Who Goes There!Chambers, Robert W. (Robert William)
General
Who Goes There!
Chambers, Robert W. (Robert William)
World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
They were not asleep, but they should have been. And in separate
corners. Conscience was explaining this to her and she was really trying
to find relief in sleep. Conscience was less intrusive with him, except
in regard to the papers. And when it had nagged him enough he ceased
wondering how he was going to get them and merely admitted that he would
do it.
And this self-knowledge disturbed him so that he could scarcely endure
to think of the matter and of what must happen to their friendship in
the end. Sorrow, dismay, tenderness possessed him by turns. She seemed
like a slumbering child there on his shoulder, softly fragrant,
trustful, pathetic. And he was pledged to a thing that might tear the
veil from her eyes--horrify her, crush her confidence in man.
"I can bribe a couple of old women," he thought miserably--"but it's
almost as bad as though I did it myself. Good Heavens!--was a man ever
before placed in such a predicament?"
And when he couldn't stand his horrid reflections any longer he said,
"Karen?" again. So humbly, so unhappily that the girl opened her blue
eyes very wide and listened with all her might.
"Karen," he said, "in a comparatively short time you won't listen to me
at all--you won't tolerate me. And before that time is upon us, I--I
want to say a--few--words to you ... about how deeply I value our
friendship.... And about my very real respect and admiration for you....
You won't let me say it, soon. You won't care to hear it. You will scorn
the very mention of my name--hate me, possibly--no, probably.... And so
now--before I have irrevocably angered you--before I have incurred
your--dislike--I want to say--if I may--that I--never was as unhappy in
all my life."
Lying very still against his shoulder she thought: "He does not really
mean to do it."
"Karen," he went on, "if you don't find it in your heart to spare me
this--duty--how can I spare myself?"
She thought: "He _does_ mean to do it."
"And yet--and yet----"
"He won't do it!" she thought.
"There never has been a coward in my race!" he said more calmly.
"He _does_ mean to do it!" she thought. "He is a barbarian, a Hun, a
Visigoth, a savage! He is a brute, all through. And I--I don't know what
I am becoming--resting here--listening to such--such infamy from him! I
don't know what is going to become of me--I don't--I _don't!_"
She caught her breath like a hurt child, hot tears welled up; she turned
and buried her face against his arm, overwhelmed by her own toleration
of herself and the man she was learning so quickly to endure, to fear,
and to care for with all the capacity of a heart and mind that had never
before submitted one atom of either mind or heart to any man.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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