"But what can I do? If I am recalled by General Grover, I shall likely be required to do both." "I think not. They want you to remain alive. Unless you join the Confederates again, as you did in the battle the other day, it is not very likely that you will serve any more in the ranks; of course, you can do so if you insist upon it." "Insist on what? Joining the Confederates?" "No; insist on fighting in the ranks." "I should feel it my duty to go into battle with the Eleventh unless I had other work at the time." "Do you think it your duty to give your best powers to your cause, or your poorest?" "Can I not do both?" "No--not at all; you should study your important calling, and make an art of it." "I dread it; to believe that I must become a regular spy is a terrible thought to me." "Why so?" "Well, Doctor, you know that I am peculiar." "You allude to your memory?" "Yes." "What effect does spying have upon you?" "It seems to weaken me, body and mind. I was never so exhausted in my life as when I came back on the 24th." "You had had a hard time, no doubt." "But it was not merely a hard time; it was a peculiar time. I believe that for a short while I lost sight of the fact that I was a Union soldier." "That only shows that you acted your part." "The sudden changes are what I find so hard. To imagine myself a Confederate, and then in a moment to become a Federal, and in the next moment by effort become a rebel again, is revolutionary." "Very likely." "I'd prefer being in the ranks." "Do you believe that your peculiar condition is what makes your sufferings?" "I know it. The vivid result of my imagination is suddenly contrasted with as vivid a memory; before I quit being one man I become another, and I can see two of me at once." "And that proves painful?" "It is torture. If I am to imagine myself a Confederate in order to succeed, why, I prefer the ranks." "You have struck upon a truth not generally appreciated, Jones; the relation of the imagination and the memory is almost unity. But for your recollecting your life in the South, and your consequent real and practical sympathy with the people of the South, you could not become, in imagination, a Confederate. Imagination depends largely on memory. The extraordinary vividness of your memory produces a corresponding vividness in imagining. You see how valuable are your peculiar powers. I have no doubt that with a little data concerning some narrow section of the South, such as knowledge of family names and family history, you could join the Confederate army and play a most important role, giving to your generals information of contemplated movements as well as of movements, in actual progress." "Doctor Khayme," said I, "never could I consent to such a life."