New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Television game show hosts -- Fiction
When he finished we gave him a friendly hand and prepared to go about
our business. Unfortunately a non-professional element had slipped into
the meeting and they were either too ignorant or too indignant to go
along with the joke. They got up and began filing beefs. They attacked
Audibon politically, philosophically, and most of all financially. What
it all boiled down to was: How dast he make a speech like that when the
network kept rejecting all the wonderful scripts they sent in, and took
six months to reject each script?
We squirmed in embarrassment. Audibon got red in the face and his
replies to the hecklers became shorter and more cutting. Then an
astonishing thing happened. Jake Lennox got to his feet, turned on the
hecklers and blasted them. He was sardonic and icy; he took them apart,
politically, philosophically and financially. They were so stunned it
broke up the meeting. I saw Audibon step down from the studio stage,
go over to Lennox, smile and shake his hand emphatically, Lennox
grinned back. They spoke for a moment, laughed, shook hands again and
were separated by the low network brass who surrounded Audibon. Lennox
caught my eye, made a drink motion, and I nodded.
In Sabatini's we belted down a couple of Gibsons before I had the
courage to bring up Jake's defense of Audibon.
"We won't discuss it," he said. "I turned whore to square that lunch
hassle the other day. Which reminds me. I owe you money." He forced me
to take two tens.
He brooded. His expression was contemptuous.
"Don't let it eat you out, Jake," I said. "We all whore. What were we
doing listening to Audibon but whoring?"
"It isn't that," Lennox answered. "It's the Poison Pen test. That was a
bomb. You were right, Kitten. I'm an amateur. I should have stayed out
of the act."
"What happened?"
"I showed the photostats to all of them, looking for a sign ... a
give-away. You remember what I told you about Fink?"
"Yes. So?"
"You think those letters knocked them off balance? Hell, they loved
them. They ate 'em up. It's like those arsenic eaters of yours."
"Poison eaters?"
He nodded. "Poison eaters. They're mixed up. Sick in the head. But
trouble doesn't bother them. They live on trouble. They feed on it.
Can't do without it. They've got to have a diet that would kill a
normal man."
"All of them?"
"All of them."
"Not one knocked off balance?"
"Not one out of six. And just to show you what an amateur I am, each
one found something in the letters I hadn't noticed.... Something that
proved they couldn't be getting them."
"What?"
"Oh.... Like ... Charlie Hansel found a line that showed the letters
are being written to someone who's big. Charlie's a midget, you know
that. Plummer noticed something about a loudmouth. And you know how
quiet Johnny stammers. He's always whispering the latest from the
Kremlin."
"Kay Hill's loud."
"But she isn't dark."
"Stacy's dark."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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