New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Television game show hosts -- Fiction
"No. Ha-ha. Sh'off. S.H.O.Ah.F.F. Sh'off."
"Shroff?"
"Yes. Yes. Whiskey?" The Shroff led them to the bar, snapped his
fingers at the bartender, then rapidly undid his immaculate tie
and collar and opened his shirt. He displayed a livid bruise on his
shoulder. "Las' Satuhday night," he beamed. "Me'y Kissmus p'esent f'om
Hu-li."
Lennox stared at the stout gentleman in amazement. "Hu-li?" he
repeated. "Who he?"
"You," the Shroff beamed.
"Did he do that to you Saturday night?" Gabby asked.
"Oh yes. Yes. Ha-ha."
"Shame on you, Jordan," Gabby said reproachfully.
"I swear I don't remember. I--Gabby, this, apparently, is my good
friend, Mr. Stanley Fu, the Shroff. Mr. Fu, this, positively, is Miss
Gabrielle Valentine."
"G'eat pleasuh an' honnuh," the Shroff beamed. He shook hands with
Gabby, then redid his shirt.
"What's a Shroff, please?" Gabby asked. "Is it something I should know?"
"Oh no. No, Issa Chinese p'ofesshun. Bankuh. Yes? Money changuh."
"How do you mean?"
"Oh yes. Silvuh into dolluh. 'Me'ican dolluh into Chinese dolluh. Papuh
dolluh into silvuh." The Shroff transferred his attention to Lennox.
"You put it all down. Inna liddy ole book when I te'l you Satuhday."
"In this?" Lennox took out his gimmick book.
"Yes. Yes."
"I don't remember," Lennox said. "To tell the truth, Mr. Fu, I hardly
remember Saturday night at all. That's why I'm here. It's a wonderful
break meeting you again. Can you help me remember?"
"Oh-ho?" The Shroff made a drinking gesture. "Yes?"
"Yes."
"Please tell us what happened Saturday night," Gabby said. "I'm worried
about your bruise."
The Shroff beamed at her. "Oh yes. Happen like this. My f'iend, Hu-li,
come. Stan' next to me heah." The Shroff made the drinking gesture
three times. "Mahtini." He made the gesture three times again and
pointed to himself. "Scotch an' soda."
"Shame on you both," Gabby said.
The Shroff patted her arm fondly.
"Wait a minute," Lennox said. "Some of it's coming back. Wasn't there a
calendar up over the bar? Last year's with a fencing girl on it?"
"Yes. Yes." The Shroff nodded quickly. "We talk about pictuh of liddy
young lady with fff...." He looked helplessly at Lennox.
"Foil?"
"Yes. You te'l me you ah 'Me'ican fencuh." The Shroff pointed a finger
and waggled it. "I te'l you I am Chinese fencuh." The Shroff suddenly
crouched and lifted both arms as though poising a baseball bat. "We go
togethuh an' fence."
"We did?"
"Yes. Like Chinese." The Shroff executed a lightning swipe with both
hands, then chopped at his shoulder with the side of his palm. "You
give me this. Ha-ha. You 'membuh?"
Lennox shook his head. "Did I talk to anybody else at the bar before we
left? A man named Knott?"
"No. No othuh man."
"Did you see anybody write in this notebook when I wasn't looking? Did
I leave it around on the bar?"
"Ah? Excuse me?"
"We're trying to find someone who wrote something bad in that book, Mr.
Fu," Gabby explained. "It happened last Saturday."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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