Who Was Lost and Is Found: A NovelOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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Who Was Lost and Is Found: A Novel
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Criminals -- Fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
“The thing that would please me best would be what was the best for
you,” she said, with self-restraint. She was a little wounded by his
inquiries, but even now had not penetrated his meaning. He wanted more
distinct information than he had got. Her gentle ease of living, her
readiness to supply his wants, to forestall them even--the luxury, as it
seemed to him after his wild and wandering career, of the long-settled
house, the carefully kept gardens, the little carriage, all the modest
abundance of the humble establishment, had surprised him. He had
believed that his mother was all but poor--not in want of anything
essential to comfort, but yet very careful about her expenditure, and
certainly not allowing him in the days of his youth, as he had often
reflected with bitterness, the indulgences to which, if she had been as
well off as she seemed now, he would have had, he thought, a right. What
had she now? Had she grown rich? Was there plenty for him after her,
enough to exempt him from that necessity of working, which he had always
feared and hated? It was, perhaps, not unreasonable that he should wish
to know.
“I told you,” he said, after a short interval, “that I was good for
nothing. If I had stayed at home, what should I have been now? A Writer
to the Signet with an office in Edinburgh, and, perhaps, who can tell,
clients that would have come to consult me about where to place their
money and other such things.” He laughed at the thought. “I can never be
that now.”
“No,” she said, in tender sympathy with what she was quick to think a
regret on his part. “No, Robbie, my dear; I fear it’s too late for that
now.”
“Well! it’s perhaps all the better: for how could I tell them what to do
with their money, who never had any of my own? No; what I shall do is
this: be a dependent on you, mother, all my life; with a few pounds to
buy my clothes, and a few shillings to get my tobacco and a daily paper,
now that the ‘Scotsman’ comes out daily--and some wretched old library
of novels, where I can change my books three or four times a-week: and
that’s how Rob Ogilvy will end, that was once a terror in his way--no,
it was never I that was the terror, but those I was with,” he added, in
an undertone.
Mrs Ogilvy’s heart was wrung with that keen anguish of helplessness
which is as the bitterness of death to those who can do nothing to help
or deliver those they love. “Oh, my dear, my dear,” she said, “why
should that be so? It is all yours whatever is mine. It’s not a fortune,
but you shall be no dependent--you shall have your own: and better
thoughts will come--and you will want more than a library of foolish
books or a daily paper. You will want your own honest life, like them
that went before you, and your place in the world--and oh, Robbie! God
grant it! a good wife and a family of your own.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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