At school she had shown no particular aptitude that would help her
now--or rather had shown an aptitude in so many directions as to give
rise to a widespread impression that "Joan Darcy would get somewhere
some day," but which had caused more than one of her teachers to shake
her head and murmur something about Jack of all trades being master of
none. She herself had found this facility convenient, not in the pursuit
of study but in the avoidance of it. She had managed to slip through the
brief period allotted by Richard Darcy for the necessities of a young
gentlewoman's education, with the minimum of work combined with the
maximum of pleasure. It seemed to her then, and afterwards, the wisest
possible use to make of a superior brain. Possibly the mental diet
offered for her consideration was not altogether suited to Joan's
peculiar requirements.
Certainly she came away from school with little more knowledge than she
had taken into it, even with regard to herself. Vague yearnings she was
aware of, vague inhibitions and promptings; together with tastes and
distastes that were not vague at all. She put the latter down on a bit
of paper, in an effort to come to a clearer understanding of the girl
who was Joan Darcy.
She liked:
1. Books. On any subject whatever, provided they did not try to teach
anything and came up to her rather exacting standards of style.
2. Dancing--if people kept in step with the music and did not hold her
too close.
3. Out-of-doors, especially when the wind was blowing.
4. Music, if there was no one around to discuss it or analyse it.
5. Children, without their families.
6. Almost any sort of a dog, particularly if it did not seem to belong
to anybody. Strays regarded her as their own.
She disliked (and here there were no qualifications. It was never hard
for Joan to say what she disliked!):
1. Debt.
2. Effusiveness.
3. Humility.
4. Vulgarity--under which heading she included everything her
step-mother did, or said, or thought, or wore, or was. Yet she did not
quite dislike her step-mother.
This exhaustive survey left her with the impression of a hypercritical,
overconfident, extremely unpleasant young ego, which intended to get as
much out of life as possible with as little given in return, and which
so far had got about what it deserved. She was glad that no one of her
acquaintance was clever enough to see her quite as clearly as she saw
herself.
Except, of course, Mr. Nikolai: and he did not count.
There was something odd about Stefan Nikolai's attitude toward his
fellow-men. He seemed to regard humanity as if it were a vast picture
puzzle which it was his privilege to take apart and put together again
for his amusement. He asked nothing of any piece of the puzzle except
that it fit eventually into the spot where it belonged. Joan had a
comfortable feeling that he would presently find her spot for her in
case she failed to find it for herself. But she preferred to find it for
herself, if possible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account