The first step is the initiation of a new attitude, namely, the
commonplace. The establishment of this attitude involves the sacrifice
of self-love, and of the melancholy pleasure of playing the martyr. The
oversensitive individual must recognize the fact that if people do not want
him round it may be because he inflicts his _ego_ too obtrusively upon his
associates. He must realize that others are more interested in their own
affairs than in his, and that however cutting their comments and unjust
their criticisms, and however deeply these may sink into his soul, they are
only passing incidents with them.
He must realize that if two people whisper they are not necessarily
whispering about him, and if they are it is of no consequence, and merely
shows their lack of breeding. On public occasions he must remember that
others are thinking of themselves, or of the subject in hand, quite as much
as they are of him and how he behaves. He must realize that even if he does
something foolish it will only make a passing impression on others, and
that they will like him none the less for it.
He must practice externalizing his thoughts. If criticised, he must ask
himself whether the criticism is just or unjust. If just, he must learn to
accept and act upon it; if unjust, he must learn to classify the critic,
as unreasonable, thoughtless, or ill-natured, place him in the appropriate
mental compartment, throw the criticism into the intellectual waste-basket,
and proceed upon his way. This practice, difficult at first, will, if
assiduously cultivated, become more and more automatic, and will materially
modify a fruitful source of worry.
The next step is to practice the control of the dominating impulses
(obsessions). If one finds himself impelled continually to drum, or walk
the floor, he will find the habit cannot be dropped at once, but if he can
refrain from it for a few moments once or twice in the day, no matter how
lost he feels without it, and sit for a few minutes relaxed and motionless,
the intervals can be gradually increased. Even the chronic doubter may
appreciate the fact that this practice aids in preparing one for taking and
keeping, at night, the quiet and immobile position which favors sleep. The
bearing of this training upon worry may not be immediately obvious, but if
one cannot overcome these simple physical compulsions he will find it still
harder to overcome the doubts, the fears, and the scruples which underlie
his worry.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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