Where the banks were difficult we went down into the frozen bed, and
there had story above story of piled-up loveliness, with opal and
diamond cellars below. Spikes and stars crystalline radiated and
refracted and reflected marvellously. But we did not reach the primary
source of the stream by miles; we were stopped by a precipitous rock,
down the face of which one half of the stream fell, while the other
crept out of its foot, from a little cavernous opening about four feet
high. Charley was a few yards ahead of me, and ran stooping into the
cavern. I followed. But when I had gone as far as I dared for the
darkness and the down-sloping roof, and saw nothing of him, I grew
dismayed, and called him. There was no answer. With a thrill of horror
my dream returned upon me. I got on my hands and knees and crept
forward. A short way further the floor sank--only a little, I believe,
but from the darkness I took the descent for an abyss into which
Charley had fallen. I gave a shriek of despair, and scrambled out of
the cave howling. In a moment he was by my side. He had only crept
behind a projection for a trick. His remorse was extreme. He begged my
pardon in the most agonized manner.
‘Never mind, Charley,’ I said; ‘you didn’t mean it.’
‘Yes, I did mean it,’ he returned. ‘The temptation came, and I yielded;
only I did not know how dreadful it would be to you.’
‘Of course not. You wouldn’t have done it if you had.’
‘How am I to know that, Wilfrid? I might have done it. Isn’t it
frightful that a body may go on and on till a thing is done, and then
wish he hadn’t done it? I am a despicable creature. Do you know,
Wilfrid, I once shot a little bird--for no good, but just to shoot at
something. It wasn’t that I didn’t think of it--don’t say that. I did
think of it. I knew it was wrong. When I had levelled my gun, I thought
of it quite plainly, and yet drew the trigger. It dropped, a heap of
ruffled feathers. I shall never get that little bird out of my head.
And the worst of it is that to all eternity I can never make any
atonement.’
‘But God will forgive you, Charley.’
‘What do I care for that,’ he rejoined, almost fiercely, ‘when the
little bird cannot forgive me?--I would go on my knees to the little
bird, if I could, to beg its pardon and tell it-what a brute I was, and
it might shoot me if it would, and I should say “Thank you.”’
He laughed almost hysterically, and the tears ran down his face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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