She made no reply, but gently withdrew her hand from mine, and returned
into the chamber. I stood a few moments irresolute, but reverence for
her sorrow prevailed, and I went down the stair and seated myself by
the fire. There the servant told me that my uncle had never moved since
they laid him in his bed. Soon after the doctor arrived, and went
up-stairs; but returned in a few minutes, only to affirm the fact. I
went again to the room, and found my aunt lying with her face on the
bosom of the dead man. She allowed me to draw her away, but when I
would have led her down, she turned aside and sought her own chamber,
where she remained for the rest of the day.
I will not linger over that miserable time. Greatly as I revered my
uncle, I was not prepared to find how much he had been respected, and
was astonished at the number of faces I had never seen which followed
to the churchyard. Amongst them were the Coninghams, father and son;
but except by a friendly grasp of the hand, and a few words of
condolence, neither interrupted the calm depression rather than grief
in which I found myself. When I returned home, there was with my aunt a
married sister, whom I had never seen before. Up to this time she had
shown an arid despair, and been regardless of everything about her; but
now she was in tears. I left them together, and wandered for hours up
and down the lonely playground of my childhood, thinking of many
things--most of all, how strange it was that, if there were a
_hereafter_ for us, we should know positively nothing concerning it;
that not a whisper should cross the invisible line; that the something
which had looked from its windows so lovingly should have in a moment
withdrawn, by some back-way unknown either to itself or us, into a
region of which all we can tell is that thence no prayers and no tears
will entice it to lift for an instant again the fallen curtain, and
look out once more. Why should not God, I thought, if a God there be,
permit one single return to each, that so the friends left behind in
the dark might be sure that death was not the end, and so live in the
world as not of the world?
[Illustration: I went again to the room, and found my aunt lying with
her face on the bosom of the dead man]
When I re-entered, I found my aunt looking a little cheerful. She was
even having something to eat with her sister--an elderly
country-looking woman, the wife of a farmer in a distant shire. Their
talk had led them back to old times, to their parents and the friends
of their childhood; and the memory of the long dead had comforted her a
little over the recent loss; for all true hearts death is a uniting,
not a dividing power.
‘I suppose you will be going back to London, Wilfrid?’ said my aunt,
who had already been persuaded to pay her sister a visit.
‘I think I had better,’ I answered. ‘When I have a chance of publishing
a book, I should like to come and write it, or at least finish it,
here, if you will let me.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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