When we had parted for the night, my brains began to go about, and the
centre of their gyrations was not Mary now, but Clara. What could have
induced her to play me false? All my vanity, of which I had enough, was
insufficient to persuade me that it could be out of revenge for the
gradual diminution of my attentions to her. She had seen me pay none to
Mary, I thought, unless she had caught a glimpse from the next room of
the little passage of the ring, and that I did not believe. Neither did
I believe she had ever cared enough about me to be jealous of whatever
attentions I might pay to another. But in all my conjectures, I had to
confess myself utterly foiled. I could imagine no motive. Two
possibilities alone, both equally improbable, suggested themselves--the
one, that she did it for pure love of mischief, which, false as she was
to me, I could not believe; the other, which likewise I rejected, that
she wanted to ingratiate herself with Brotherton. I had still, however,
scarcely a doubt that she had laid the sword on my bed. Trying to
imagine a connection between this possible action and Mary’s mistake, I
built up a conjectural form of conjectural facts to this effect--that
Mary had seen her go into my room, had taken it for the room she was to
share with her, and had followed her either at once--in which case I
supposed Clara to have gone out by the stair to the roof to avoid being
seen--or afterwards, from some accident, without a light in her hand.
But I do not care to set down more of my speculations, for none
concerning this either were satisfactory to myself, and I remain almost
as much in the dark to this day. In any case the fear remained that
Clara must be ever on the borders of the discovery of Mary’s secret, if
indeed she did not know it already, which was a dreadful thought--more
especially as I could place no confidence in her. I was glad to think,
however, that they were to be parted so soon, and I had little fear of
any correspondence between them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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