England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
Again came springtime, and, as he stood behind the counter, Warburton
thought of all that was going on in the world he had forsaken.
Amusements for which he had never much cared haunted his fancy; feeling
himself shut out from the life of grace and intellect, he suffered a
sense of dishonour, as though his position resulted from some personal
baseness, some crime. He numbered the acquaintances he had dropped, and
pictured them as mentioning his name--if ever they did so--with cold
disapproval. Godfrey Sherwood had ceased to write; it was six months
since his last letter, in which he hinted a fear that the Irish
enterprise would have to be abandoned for lack of capital. Even Franks,
good fellow as he was, seemed to grow lukewarm in friendship. The
painter had an appointment for a Sunday in May at Will's lodgings, to
smoke and talk, but on the evening before he sent a telegram excusing
himself. Vexed, humiliated, Warburton wasted the Sunday morning, and
only after his midday meal yielded to the temptation of a brilliant
sky, which called him forth. Walking westward, with little heed to
distance or direction, he presently found himself at Kew; on the bridge
he lingered awhile, idly gazing at boats, and; as he thus leaned over
the parapet, the sound of a voice behind him fell startlingly upon his
ear. He turned, just in time to catch a glimpse of the features which
that voice had brought before his mind's eye, Bertha Cross was passing,
with her mother. Probably they had not seen him. And even if they had,
if they had recognised him--did he flatter himself that the Crosses
would give any sign in public of knowing their grocer?
With his eyes on the graceful figure of Bertha, he slowly followed. The
ladies were crossing Kew Green; doubtless they would enter the Gardens
to spend the afternoon there. Would it not be pleasant to join them, to
walk by Bertha's side, to talk freely with her, forgetting the counter,
which always restrained their conversation? Bertha was nicely dressed,
though one saw that her clothes cost nothing. In the old days, if he
had noticed her at all she would have seemed to him rather a pretty
girl of the lower middle class, perhaps a little less insignificant
than her like; now she shone for him against a background of
"customers," the one in whom he saw a human being of his own kind, and
who, within the imposed limits, had given proof of admitting his
humanity. He saw her turn to look at her mother, and smile; a smile of
infinite kindness and good-humour. Involuntarily his own lips
responded; he walked on smiling--smiling.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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