The important doorkeeper was not the only comrade who had noticed
William’s return: one or two heads were turned as he came in, but for
the most part the audience was intent on the words of the speaker. The
heads that turned made some sign of pleased recognition to which William
responded automatically, unknowing that he did so. From his seat near
the door his eyes wandered slowly over the platform, the hall and its
occupants—slowly and with a dull and detached curiosity. What he saw
there and heard was unreal, like a scene in an unconvincing play; he had
a sense of looking at these people from a great way off, of hearing
their voices from a distance. Something separated and held him removed
from them.... He had great difficulty in giving his attention to what
the speaker was saying; yet in the old days Faraday had always stirred
him and to-night he was speaking well.
From thirty to forty convinced adherents assembled at a private
conference are not the material upon which a public orator usually
throws away his best endeavours; but Faraday that night was speaking not
so much to his audience as to himself. Unadmitted, even to his secret
soul, he had great and fierce need of conviction; it was with his own
doubts that he wrestled, at his own head that he flung both his jeers
and his arguments. He was of a finer because more intelligent mould
than the Edwardeses and Jay-Blenkinsops who heard him and who were still
thinking of the European tragedy as a red herring drawn by the cunning
politician across the path of progress. Not for him was their happy
imperviousness to the new idea, and, looking down from his platform on
their assembled faces, it may have struck him, not pleasantly, that
these people were in part of his making; they were, at any rate, the
product of a system of which he, in common with politicians of every
creed, had not scrupled to make full use.
Be that as it may, he spoke feelingly and well that night; far better
and more feelingly than was needed by the numbers, the attitude and
calibre of his audience, which was comfortably and stubbornly determined
to agree with him before he opened his mouth. He had not come to the
meeting with intent to be so lengthy and urgent; he had planned to be
nothing more than brief and business-like, to give and invite
suggestions for a vigorous prosecution of the anti-war campaign; but
when he rose to open the discussion he was carried away by his own
doubts and emotions; and the "few remarks" he had thought to make flared
out into a veritable speech. He fought with and poured scorn on himself
in the name of others, rallying his feebleness with argument and
sneering at his own hesitations. Thus he spoke eloquently and deserved
the applause which greeted him when he sat down.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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