His nervousness took the form of a difficulty in keeping still, and he
fidgeted about the darkened room; but the room was fairly full, and he
could not move far—after a step or two this way and a step or two that,
he was brought up by a solid group that stretched from the wall to a
table. He came to a standstill on the edge of the group and tried to
listen to their talk; forced himself to listen to it—and all the time
straining his ears through the murmur for the droning of the Gotha
engines. He fought with himself and fought more manfully than he knew;
striving to thrust out of his mind Wright’s phrase about the "beastly
bits of flesh," and to fasten his hearing, to the exclusion of all else,
on the voice of a man, his neighbour in the darkness, who had lately
seen a German aeroplane brought down, and, having apparently some
mechanical knowledge, was describing its points and its engines. They,
the engines, were first-rate, he said, waxing technical; but even if he
had not been told it, he should have guessed from the fittings of the
plane that Jerry was getting a bit scarce in his stock of rubber and
leather. What he was using—— Here the windows rattled loudly and
drowned him. "That’s pretty close," some one commented, and William
moved a restless step away. Once it had seemed to him an easy thing to
follow Griselda and die; now all the moral strength he possessed went
into the effort not to shrink, to be master of his body, to behave
decently and endure. That was all that seemed to matter—to be steady
and behave decently—so that, for all his fear of instant death, he never
turned his thoughts to God.... He had not known how beautiful silence
could be till it came almost suddenly, like a flood of clear, cool
water; when some one, muttering that it seemed to be over, opened the
door and went out into the courtyard, he followed and stood there
feeling the silence as something clean, exquisite and grateful. His
hands were wet and hot, and he stretched them out to the air; if he had
not prayed when he was under the spell of fear, his heart, at his
release from it, was filled with something like praise.
"Listen," said a voice in his ear. It was Wright, his face uplifted in
the moonlight and disfigured by ugly twitchings. "Listen," he said,
"they’re coming back." ... William shrank from him irritably, but the
man had not spoken particularly to him, and, having spoken, turned
swiftly and went back into the house. He had been the first to catch
the double-noted drone which as they stood and listened grew nearer.
"That’s him, sure enough," another voice agreed. "Coming up in relays.
He’ll be out to make a night of it—I thought we’d got rid of him too
quickly."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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