_Mons._ In comparison of pantaloon, I do undervalue 'em indeed, Don Diego, _mon oncle_, ha! ha! ha! _Don._ Thou art then a _gabacho[61] de mal gusto_, look you. _Mons._ You may call me vat you vill, _oncle_ Don Diego; but I must needs say, your Spanish hose are scurvy hose, ugly hose, lousy hose, and stinking hose. _Don._ Do not provoke me, _borracho!_ [_Puts his hand to his sword._ _Mons._ Indeet, as for lousy, I recant dat epithete, for dere is scarce room in 'em for dat little animal, ha! ha! ha! but for stinking hose, dat epithete may stand; for how can they choose but stink, since they are so _furieusement_ close to your Spanish tail, da? _Hip._ Ha! ha! ridiculous! [_Aside._ _Don._ Do not provoke me, I say, _en hora mala!_ [_Seems to draw._ _Mons._ Nay, _oncle_, I am sorry you are in de pation; but I must live and die for de pantaloon against de Spanish hose, da. _Don._ You are a rash young man; and while you wear pantaloons, you are beneath my passion, _voto_--auh--they make thee look and waddle (with all those gewgaw ribbons) like a great, old, fat, slovenly water dog. _Mons._ And your Spanish hose, and your nose in the air, make you look like a great, grizzled, long Irish greyhound reaching a crust off from a high shelf, ha! ha! ha! _Don. Bueno! bueno!_ _Mrs. Caut._ What, have you a mind to ruin yourself and break off the match? _Mons._ Pshaw--wat do you tell me of the matche! d'ye tinke I will not vindicate pantaloons, _morbleu!_ _Don._ [_Aside._] Well, he is a lost young man, I see, and desperately far gone in the epidemic malady of our nation, the affectation of the worst of French vanities: but I must be wiser than him, as I am a Spaniard. Look you, Don Diego, and endeavour to reclaim him by art and fair means, look you, Don Diego; if not, he shall never marry my daughter, look you, Don Diego, though he be my own sister's son, and has two thousand five hundred seventy-three pounds sterling, twelve shillings and twopence a year pennyrent, _seguramente!_--[_To_ Monsieur.] Come, young man, since you are so obstinate, we will refer our difference to arbitration; your mistress, my daughter, shall be umpire betwixt us, concerning Spanish hose and pantaloons. _Mons._ Pantaloons and Spanish hose, _s'il vous plait_. _Don._ Your mistress is the fittest judge of your dress, sure. _Mons._ I know ver vel dat most of the _jeunesse_ of England will not change de ribband upon de crevat without de consultation of dere _maîtresse_; but I am no _Anglais_, da--nor shall I make de reference of my dress to any in the universe, da--I judge by any in England! _tête non!_ I would not be judge by any English looking-glass, _jarni!_ _Don._ Be not _positivo_, young man. _Mrs. Caut._ Nay, pray refer it, cousin, pray do. _Mons._ Non, non, your servant, your servant, aunt. _Don._ But, pray, be not so positive. Come hither, daughter, tell me which is best. _Hip._ Indeed, father, you have kept me in universal ignorance, I know nothing.