_Horn._ Come, I know thou hast not: I'll treat thee, dear rogue; thou sha't spend none of thy Hampshire money to-day. _Pinch._ Treat me! So, he uses me already like his cuckold. [_Aside._ _Horn._ Nay, you shall not go. _Pinch._ I must; I have business at home. [_Exit._ _Har._ To beat his wife. He's as jealous of her, as a Cheapside husband of a Covent-garden wife. _Horn._ Why, 'tis as hard to find an old whoremaster without jealousy and the gout, as a young one without fear, or the pox:-- As gout in age from pox in youth proceeds, So wenching past, then jealousy succeeds; The worst disease that love and wenching breeds. [_Exeunt._ ACT THE SECOND. SCENE I _.--A Room in_ PINCHWIFE'S _House._ Mrs. MARGERY PINCHWIFE _and_ ALITHEA. PINCHWIFE _peeping behind at the door._ _Mrs. Pinch._ Pray, sister, where are the best fields and woods to walk in, in London? _Alith._ [_Aside._] A pretty question!--[_Aloud._] Why, sister, Mulberry-garden and St. James's park; and, for close walks, the New Exchange.[74] _Mrs. Pinch._ Pray, sister, tell me why my husband looks so grum here in town, and keeps me up so close, and will not let me go a-walking, nor let me wear my best gown yesterday. _Alith._ O, he's jealous, sister. _Mrs. Pinch._ Jealous! what's that? _Alith._ He's afraid you should love another man. _Mrs. Pinch._ How should he be afraid of my loving another man, when he will not let me see any but himself? _Alith._ Did he not carry you yesterday to a play? _Mrs. Pinch._ Ay; but we sat amongst ugly people. He would not let me come near the gentry, who sat under us, so that I could not see 'em. He told me, none but naughty women sat there, whom they toused and moused. But I would have ventured, for all that. _Alith._ But how did you like the play? _Mrs. Pinch._ Indeed I was weary of the play; but I liked hugeously the actors. They are the goodliest, properest men, sister! _Alith._ O, but you must not like the actors, sister. _Mrs. Pinch._ Ay, how should I help it, sister? Pray, sister, when my husband comes in, will you ask leave for me to go a-walking? _Alith._ A-walking! ha! ha! Lord, a country-gentlewoman's pleasure is the drudgery of a footpost; and she requires as much airing as her husband's horses.--[_Aside._] But here comes your husband: I'll ask, though I'm sure he'll not grant it. _Mrs. Pinch._ He says he won't let me go abroad for fear of catching the pox. _Alith._ Fy! the small-pox you should say. _Enter_ PINCHWIFE. _Mrs. Pinch._ O my dear, dear bud, welcome home! Why dost thou look so fropish? who has nangered thee? _Pinch._ You're a fool. [Mrs. PINCHWIFE _goes aside, and cries._ _Alith._ Faith, so she is, for crying for no fault, poor tender creature! _Pinch._ What, you would have her as impudent as yourself, as arrant a jilflirt, a gadder, a magpie; and to say all, a mere notorious town-woman?