_Horn._ Indeed, madam, the time was I only hated virtuous women, but now I hate the other too; I beg your pardon, ladies. _Lady Fid._ You are very obliging, sir, because we would not be troubled with you. _Sir Jasp._ In sober sadness, he shall go. _Dor._ Nay, if he wo' not, I am ready to wait upon the ladies, and I think I am the fitter man. _Sir Jasp._ You sir! no, I thank you for that. Master Horner is a privileged man amongst the virtuous ladies, 'twill be a great while before you are so; he! he! he! he's my wife's gallant; he! he! he! No, pray withdraw, sir, for as I take it, the virtuous ladies have no business with you. _Dor._ And I am sure he can have none with them. 'Tis strange a man can't come amongst virtuous women now, but upon the same terms as men are admitted into the Great Turk's seraglio. But heavens keep me from being an ombre player with 'em!--But where is Pinchwife? [_Exit._ _Sir Jasp._ Come, come, man; what, avoid the sweet society of womankind? that sweet, soft, gentle, tame, noble creature, woman, made for man's companion-- _Horn._ So is that soft, gentle, tame, and more noble creature a spaniel, and has all their tricks; can fawn, lie down, suffer beating, and fawn the more; barks at your friends when they come to see you, makes your bed hard, gives you fleas, and the mange sometimes. And all the difference is, the spaniel's the more faithful animal, and fawns but upon one master. _Sir Jasp._ He! he! he! _Mrs. Squeam._ O the rude beast! _Mrs. Dain._ Insolent brute! _Lady Fid._ Brute! stinking, mortified, rotten French wether, to dare-- _Sir Jasp._ Hold, an't please your ladyship.--For shame, Master Horner! your mother was a woman--[_Aside._] Now shall I never reconcile 'em.--[_Aside to_ Lady FIDGET.] Hark you, madam, take my advice in your anger. You know you often want one to make up your drolling pack of ombre players, and you may cheat him easily; for he's an ill gamester, and consequently loves play. Besides, you know you have but two old civil gentlemen (with stinking breaths too) to wait upon you abroad; take in the third into your service. The other are but crazy; and a lady should have a supernumerary gentleman-usher as a supernumerary coach-horse, lest sometimes you should be forced to stay at home. _Lady Fid._ But are you sure he loves play, and has money? _Sir Jasp._ He loves play as much as you, and has money as much as I. _Lady Fid._ Then I am contented to make him pay for his scurrility. Money makes up in a measure all other wants in men.--Those whom we cannot make hold for gallants, we make fine. [_Aside._