English drama (Comedy); English drama -- 17th century
_Mrs. Pinch._ Presently, bud.
_Dor._ Come, let us go too.--[_To_ ALITHEA.] Madam, your
servant.--[_To_ LUCY.] Good night, strapper.
_Har._ Madam, though you will not let me have a good day or night, I
wish you one; but dare not name the other half of my wish.
_Alith._ Good night, sir, for ever.
_Mrs. Pinch._ I don't know where to put this here, dear bud, you shall
eat it; nay, you shall have part of the fine gentleman's good things,
or treat, as you call it, when we come home.
_Pinch._ Indeed, I deserve it, since I furnished the best part of it.
[_Strikes away the orange._
The gallant treats presents, and gives the ball;
But 'tis the absent cuckold pays for all.
[_Exeunt._
ACT THE FOURTH.
SCENE I.--PINCHWIFE'S _House in the morning._
_Enter_ ALITHEA _dressed in new clothes, and_ LUCY.
_Lucy._ Well--madam, now have I dressed you, and set you out with so
many ornaments, and spent upon you ounces of essence and pulvillio;[76]
and all this for no other purpose but as people adorn and perfume a
corpse for a stinking second-hand grave: such, or as bad, I think
Master Sparkish's bed.
_Alith._ Hold your peace.
_Lucy._ Nay, madam, I will ask you the reason why you would banish
poor Master Harcourt for ever from your sight; how could you be so
hard-hearted?
_Alith._ 'Twas because I was not hard-hearted.
_Lucy._ No, no; 'twas stark love and kindness, I warrant.
_Alith._ It was so; I would see him no more because I love him.
_Lucy._ Hey day, a very pretty reason!
_Alith._ You do not understand me.
_Lucy._ I wish you may yourself.
_Alith._ I was engaged to marry, you see, another man, whom my justice
will not suffer me to deceive or injure.
_Lucy._ Can there be a greater cheat or wrong done to a man than to
give him your person without your heart? I should make a conscience of
it.
_Alith._ I'll retrieve it for him after I am married a while.
_Lucy._ The woman that marries to love better, will be as much mistaken
as the wencher that marries to live better. No, madam, marrying to
increase love is like gaming to become rich; alas! you only lose what
little stock you had before.
_Alith._ I find by your rhetoric you have been bribed to betray me.
_Lucy._ Only by his merit, that has bribed your heart, you see, against
your word and rigid honour. But what a devil is this honour! 'tis sure
a disease in the head, like the megrim or falling-sickness, that always
hurries people away to do themselves mischief. Men lose their lives by
it; women, what's dearer to 'em, their love, the life of life.
_Alith._ Come, pray talk you no more of honour, nor Master Harcourt; I
wish the other would come to secure my fidelity to him and his right in
me.
_Lucy._ You will marry him then?
_Alith._ Certainly, I have given him already my word, and will my hand
too, to make it good, when he comes.
_Lucy._ Well, I wish I may never stick pin more, if he be not an arrant
natural, to t'other fine gentleman.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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