_Pinch._ As mad as I am, and as merry as you are, I must have more reason from you ere we part. I say again, though you kissed and courted last night my wife in man's clothes, as she confesses in her letter-- _Horn._ Ha! [_Aside._ _Pinch._ Both she and I say, you must not design it again, for you have mistaken your woman, as you have done your man. _Horn._ [_Aside._] O--I understand something now--[_Aloud._] Was that thy wife! Why wouldst thou not tell me 'twas she? Faith, my freedom with her was your fault, not mine. _Pinch._ Faith, so 'twas. [_Aside._ _Horn._ Fy! I'd never do't to a woman before her husband's face, sure. _Pinch._ But I had rather you should do't to my wife before my face, than behind my back; and that you shall never do. _Horn._ No--you will hinder me. _Pinch._ If I would not hinder you, you see by her letter she would. _Horn._ Well, I must e'en acquiesce then, and be contented with what she writes. _Pinch._ I'll assure you 'twas voluntarily writ; I had no hand in't you may believe me. _Horn._ I do believe thee, faith. _Pinch._ And believe her too, for she's an innocent creature, has no dissembling in her: and so fare you well, sir. _Horn._ Pray, however, present my humble service to her, and tell her, I will obey her letter to a tittle, and fulfil her desires, be what they will, or with what difficulty soever I do't; and you shall be no more jealous of me, I warrant her, and you. _Pinch._ Well then, fare you well; and play with any man's honour but mine, kiss any man's wife but mine, and welcome. [_Exit._ _Horn._ Ha! ha! ha! doctor. _Quack._ It seems, he has not heard the report of you, or does not believe it. _Horn._ Ha! ha!--now, doctor, what think you? _Quack._ Pray let's see the letter--hum--"for--dear--love you--" [_Reads the letter._ _Horn._ I wonder how she could contrive it! What say'st thou to't? 'tis an original. _Quack._ So are your cuckolds too originals: for they are like no other common cuckolds, and I will henceforth believe it not impossible for you to cuckold the Grand Signior amidst his guards of eunuchs, that I say. _Horn._ And I say for the letter, 'tis the first love-letter that ever was without flames, darts, fates, destinies, lying and dissembling in't. _Enter_ SPARKISH _pulling in_ PINCHWIFE. _Spark._ Come back, you are a pretty brother-in-law, neither go to church nor to dinner with your sister bride! _Pinch._ My sister denies her marriage, and you see is gone away from you dissatisfied. _Spark._ Pshaw! upon a foolish scruple, that our parson was not in lawful orders, and did not say all the common-prayer; but 'tis her modesty only I believe. But let all women be never so modest the first day, they'll be sure to come to themselves by night, and I shall have enough of her then. In the mean time, Harry Horner, you must dine with me: I keep my wedding at my aunt's in the Piazza.[81]