_Sir Jasp._ 'Tis well, 'tis well; I knew when once they were thoroughly acquainted with poor Horner, they'd ne'er be from him: you may let her masquerade it with my wife and Horner, and I warrant her reputation safe. _Enter_ Boy. _Boy._ O, sir, here's the gentleman come, whom you bid me not suffer to come up, without giving you notice, with a lady too, and other gentlemen. _Horn._ Do you all go in there, whilst I send 'em away; and, boy, do you desire 'em to stay below till I come, which shall be immediately. [_Exeunt_ Sir JASPER FIDGET, Lady FIDGET, Lady SQUEAMISH, Mrs. SQUEAMISH, _and_ Mrs. DAINTY FIDGET. _Boy._ Yes, sir. [_Exit._ [_Exit_ HORNER _at the other door, and returns with_ Mrs. PINCHWIFE. _Horn._ You would not take my advice, to be gone home before your husband came back, he'll now discover all; yet pray, my dearest, be persuaded to go home, and leave the rest to my management; I'll let you down the back way. _Mrs. Pinch._ I don't know the way home, so I don't. _Horn._ My man shall wait upon you. _Mrs. Pinch._ No, don't you believe that I'll go at all; what, are you weary of me already? _Horn._ No, my life, 'tis that I may love you long, 'tis to secure my love, and your reputation with your husband; he'll never receive you again else. _Mrs. Pinch._ What care I? d'ye think to frighten me with that? I don't intend to go to him again; you shall be my husband now. _Horn._ I cannot be your husband, dearest, since you are married to him. _Mrs. Pinch._ O, would you make me believe that? Don't I see every day at London here, women leave their first husbands, and go and live with other men as their wives? pish, pshaw! you'd make me angry, but that I love you so mainly. _Horn._ So, they are coming up--In again, in, I hear 'em.--[_Exit_ Mrs. PINCHWIFE.] Well, a silly mistress is like a weak place, soon got, soon lost, a man has scarce time for plunder; she betrays her husband first to her gallant, and then her gallant to her husband. _Enter_ PINCHWIFE, ALITHEA, HARCOURT, SPARKISH, LUCY, _and a_ Parson. _Pinch._ Come, madam, 'tis not the sudden change of your dress, the confidence of your asseverations, and your false witness there, shall persuade me I did not bring you hither just now; here's my witness, who cannot deny it, since you must be confronted.--Mr. Horner, did not I bring this lady to you just now? _Horn._ Now must I wrong one woman for another's sake,--but that's no new thing with me, for in these cases I am still on the criminal's side against the innocent. [_Aside._ _Alith._ Pray speak, sir. _Horn._ It must be so. I must be impudent, and try my luck; impudence uses to be too hard for truth. [_Aside._ _Pinch._ What, you are studying an evasion or excuse for her! Speak, sir. _Horn._ No, faith, I am something backward only to speak in women's affairs or disputes. _Pinch._ She bids you speak.