_Sir Jasp._ What's the matter? what's the matter? pray, what's the matter, sir? I beseech you communicate, sir. _Pinch._ Why, my wife has communicated, sir, as your wife may have done too, sir, if she knows him, sir. _Sir Jasp._ Pshaw, with him! ha! ha! he! _Pinch._ D'ye mock me, sir? a cuckold is a kind of a wild beast; have a care, sir. _Sir Jasp._ No, sure, you mock me, sir. He cuckold you! it can't be, ha! ha! he! why, I'll tell you, sir--[_Offers to whisper._ _Pinch._ I tell you again, he has whored my wife, and yours too, if he knows her, and all the women he comes near; 'tis not his dissembling, his hypocrisy, can wheedle me. _Sir Jasp._ How! does he dissemble? is he a hypocrite? Nay, then--how--wife--sister, is he a hypocrite? _L. Squeam._ A hypocrite! a dissembler! Speak, young harlotry, speak, how? _Sir Jasp._ Nay, then--O my head too!--O thou libidinous lady! _L. Squeam._ O thou harloting harlotry! hast thou done't then? _Sir Jasp._ Speak, good Horner, art thou a dissembler, a rogue? hast thou-- _Horn._ So! _Lucy._ I'll fetch you off, and her too, if she will but hold her tongue. [_Apart to_ HORNER. _Horn._ Canst thou? I'll give thee--[_Apart to_ LUCY. _Lucy. [To_ PINCHWIFE.] Pray have but patience to hear me, sir, who am the unfortunate cause of all this confusion. Your wife is innocent, I only culpable; for I put her upon telling you all these lies concerning my mistress, in order to the breaking off the match between Mr. Sparkish and her, to make way for Mr. Harcourt. _Spark._ Did you so, eternal rotten tooth? Then, it seems, my mistress was not false to me, I was only deceived by you. Brother, that should have been, now man of conduct, who is a frank person now, to bring your wife to her lover, ha? _Lucy._ I assure you, sir, she came not to Mr. Horner out of love, for she loves him no more-- _Mrs. Pinch._ Hold, I told lies for you, but you shall tell none for me, for I do love Mr. Horner with all my soul, and nobody shall say me nay; pray, don't you go to make poor Mr. Horner believe to the contrary; 'tis spitefully done of you, I'm sure. _Horn._ Peace, dear idiot. [_Aside to_ Mrs. PINCHWIFE. _Mrs. Pinch._ Nay, I will not peace. _Pinch._ Not till I make you. _Enter_ DORILANT _and_ Quack. _Dor._ Horner, your servant; I am the doctor's guest, he must excuse our intrusion. _Quack._ But what's the matter, gentlemen? for Heaven's sake, what's the matter? _Horn._ Oh, 'tis well you are come. 'Tis a censorious world we live in; you may have brought me a reprieve, or else I had died for a crime I never committed, and these innocent ladies had suffered with me; therefore, pray satisfy these worthy, honourable, jealous gentlemen--that--[_Whispers._ _Quack._ O, I understand you, is that all?--Sir Jasper, by Heavens, and upon the word of a physician, sir--[_Whispers to_ Sir JASPER. _Sir Jasp._ Nay, I do believe you truly.--Pardon me, my virtuous lady, and dear of honour.