_Oliv._ He a wit! Hang him; he's only an adopter of straggling jests and fatherless lampoons; by the credit of which he eats at good tables, and so, like the barren beggar-woman, lives by borrowed children. _Nov._ Madam-- _Oliv._ And never was author of anything but his news; but that is still all his own. _Nov._ Madam, pray-- _Oliv._ An eternal babbler; and makes no more use of his ears, than a man that sits at a play by his mistress, or in Fop-corner. He's, in fine, a base detracting fellow, and is my aversion.--But who else, prithee Mr. Novel, was there with you? Nay, you shan't stir. _Nov._ I beg your pardon, madam; I cannot stay in any place where I'm not allowed a little Christian liberty of railing. _Oliv._ Nay, prithee Mr. Novel, stay: and though you should rail at me, I would hear you with patience. Prithee, who else was there with you? _Nov._ Your servant, madam. _Oliv._ Nay, prithee tell us, Mr. Novel, prithee do. _Nov._ We had nobody else. _Oliv._ Nay, faith, I know you had. Come, my Lord Plausible was there too; who is, cousin, a-- _Eliza._ You need not tell me what he is, cousin; for I know him to be a civil, good-natured, harmless gentleman, that speaks well of all the world, and is always in good-humour; and-- _Oliv._ Hold, cousin, hold; I hate detraction. But I must tell you, cousin, his civility is cowardice, his good-nature want of wit; and he has neither courage nor sense to rail: and for his being always in humour, 'tis because he is never dissatisfied with himself. In fine, he is my aversion; and I never admit his visits beyond my hall. _Nov._ No, he visit you! Damn him, cringing grinning rogue! if I should see him coming up to you, I would make bold to kick him down again.--Ha! _Enter_ Lord PLAUSIBLE. My dear lord, your most humble servant. [_Rises and salutes_ Lord PLAUSIBLE, _and kisses him._ _Eliza._ So, I find kissing and railing succeed each other with the angry men as well as with the angry women; and their quarrels are like love-quarrels, since absence is the only cause of them; for as soon as the man appears again, they are over. [_Aside._ _L. Plau._ Your most faithful humble servant, generous Mr. Novel. And, madam, I am your eternal slave, and kiss your fair hands; which I had done sooner, according to your commands, but-- _Oliv._ No excuses, my lord. _Eliza._ What, you sent for him then, cousin? [_Apart to_ OLIVIA. _Nov._ Ha! invited! [_Aside._ _Oliv._ I know you must divide yourself; for your good company is too general a good to be engrossed by any particular friend. _L. Plau._ O Lord, madam, my company! your most obliged, faithful, humble servant. But I could have brought you good company indeed; for I parted at your door with two of the worthiest, bravest men-- _Oliv._ Who were they, my lord? _Nov._ Who do you call the worthiest, bravest men, pray? _L. Plau._ O, the wisest, bravest gentlemen! men of such honour and virtue! of such good qualities! ah--