_Man._ Thou hast taken the right way to get a widow, by making her great boy rebel; for when nothing will make a widow marry, she'll do it to cross her children. But canst thou in earnest marry this harpy, this volume of shrivelled blurred parchments and law, this attorney's desk? _Free._ Ay, ay; I'll marry and live honestly, that is, give my creditors, not her, due benevolence,--pay my debts. _Man._ Thy creditors, you see, are not so barbarous as to put thee in prison; and wilt thou commit thyself to a noisome dungeon for thy life? which is the only satisfaction thou canst give thy creditors by this match. _Free._ Why, is not she rich? _Man._ Ay; but he that marries a widow for her money, will find himself as much mistaken as the widow that marries a young fellow for due benevolence, as you call it. _Free._ Why, d'ye think I shan't deserve wages? I'll drudge faithfully. _Man._ I tell thee again, he that is the slave in the mine has the least propriety in the ore. You may dig, and dig; but if thou wouldst have her money, rather get to be her trustee than her husband; for a true widow will make over her estate to anybody, and cheat herself rather than be cheated by her children or a second husband. _Re-enter_ JERRY, _running in a fright._ _Jer._ O la, I'm undone! I'm undone! my mother will kill me:--you said you'd stand by one. _Free._ So I will, my brave squire, I warrant thee. _Jer._ Ay, but I dare not stay till she comes; for she's as furious, now she has lost her writings, as a bitch when she has lost her puppies. _Man._ The comparison's handsome! _Jer._ O, she's here! _Free._ [_To the_ Sailor.] Take him, Jack, and make haste with him to your master's lodging; and be sure you keep him up till I come. [_Exeunt_ JERRY _and_ Sailor. _Re-enter_ Widow BLACKACRE _and_ Major OLDFOX. _Wid._ O my dear writings! Where's this heathen rogue, my minor? _Free._ Gone to drown or hang himself. _Wid._ No, I know him too well; he'll ne'er be _felo de se_ that way: but he may go and choose a guardian of his own head, and so be _felo de ses biens_; for he has not yet chosen one. _Free._ Say you so? And he shan't want one. [_Aside._ _Wid._ But, now I think on't, 'tis you, sir, have put this cheat upon me; for there is a saying, "Take hold of a maid by her smock, and a widow by her writings, and they cannot get from you." But I'll play fast and loose with you yet, if there be law, and my minor and writings are not forthcoming; I'll bring my action of detinue or trover. But first, I'll try to find out this guardianless, graceless villain.--Will you jog, major? _Man._ If you have lost your evidence, I hope your causes cannot go on, and I may be gone? _Wid._ O no; stay but a making-water while (as one may say) and I'll be with you again. [_Exeunt_ Widow BLACKACRE _and_ Major OLDFOX. _Free._ Well; sure I am the first man that ever began a love-intrigue in Westminster Hall.