_Mrs. Joyn._ But your worship may please to mend their fare; and, when you come, may make them entertain you better than, you see, they do themselves. _Gripe._ No, I am not dainty, as I told you. I abominate entertainments;--no entertainments, pray, Mrs. Joyner. _Mrs. Joyn._ No! [_Aside._ _Gripe._ There can be no entertainment to me more luscious and savoury than communion with that little gentlewoman.--Will you call her out? I fast till I see her. _Mrs. Joyn._ But, in truly, your worship, we should have brought a bottle or two of Rhenish and some Naples biscuit, to have entertained the young gentlewoman. 'Tis the mode for lovers to treat their mistresses. _Gripe._ Modes! I tell you, Mrs. Joyner, I hate modes and forms. _Mrs. Joyn._ You must send for something to entertain her with. _Gripe._ Again entertaining!--we will be to each other a feast. _Mrs. Joyn._ I shall be ashamed, in truly, your worship.--Besides, the young gentlewoman will despise you. _Gripe._ I shall content her, I warrant you; leave it to me. _Mrs. Joyn._ [_Aside._] I am sure you will not content me, if you will not content her; 'tis as impossible for a man to love and be a miser, as to love and be wise, as they say. _Gripe._ While you talk of treats, you starve my eyes; I long to see the fair one; fetch her hither. _Mrs. Joyn._ I am ashamed she should find me so abominable a liar; I have so praised you to her, and, above all your virtues, your liberality; which is so great a virtue, that it often excuses youth, beauty, courage, wit, or anything. _Gripe._ Pish, pish! 'tis the virtue of fools; every fool can have it. _Mrs. Joyn._ And will your worship want it, then? I told her-- _Gripe._ Why would you tell her anything of me? you know I am a modest man. But come, if you will have me as extravagant as the wicked, take that and fetch us a treat, as you call it. _Mrs. Joyn._ Upon my life a groat! what will this purchase? _Gripe._ Two black pots of ale and a cake, at the cellar.--Come, the wine has arsenic in't. _Mrs. Joyn._ [_Aside._] Well, I am mistaken, and my hopes are abused: I never knew any man so mortified a miser, that he would deny his lechery anything; I must be even with thee then another way. [_Exit._ _Gripe._ These useful old women are more exorbitant and craving in their desires than the young ones in theirs. These prodigals in white perukes spoil 'em both; and that's the reason, when the squires come under my clutches, I make 'em pay for their folly and mine, and 'tis but conscience:--oh, here comes the fair one at last! _Re-enter_ Mrs. JOYNER _leading in_ LUCY, _who hangs backwards as she enters._ _Lucy._ Oh Lord, there's a man, godmother! _Mrs. Joyn._ Come in, child, thou art so bashful-- _Lucy._ My mother is from home too, I dare not. _Mrs. Joyn._ If she were here, she'd teach you better manners. _Lucy._ I'm afraid she'd be angry. _Mrs. Joyn._ To see you so much an ass.--Come along, I say.