SCENE II.--_Another Room in the same._ Sir SIMON ADDLEPLOT _discovered sitting at a desk writing as a_ Clerk, Lady FLIPPANT _jogging him._ _Sir Sim._ 'Tis a lord's mortgage, and therefore requires the more haste:--pray do not jog me, madam. _L. Flip._ Dull rascal! [_Aside._ _Sir Sim._ They cannot stay for money as other folks. If you will not let me make an end on't, I shall lose my expedition-fee. _L. Flip._ There are some clerks would have understood me before this. [_Aside._ _Sir Sim._ Nay, pray be quiet, madam; if you squeeze me so to the wall, I cannot write. _L. Flip._ [_Aside._] 'Tis much for the honour of the gentlemen of this age, that we persons of quality are forced to descend to the importuning of a clerk, a butler, coachman, or footman; while the rogues are as dull of apprehension, too, as an unfledged country squire amongst his mother's maids! [_Jogs him again._ _Sir Sim._ Again! Let me tell you, madam, familiarity breeds contempt: you'll never leave till you have made me saucy. _L. Flip._ I would I could see that. _Sir Sim._ I vow and swear then, get you gone! or I'll add a black patch or two to those on your face.--[_Aside._] I shall have no time to get Mrs. Martha out, for her. _L. Flip._ Will you, sir, will you! [_Jogs him again._ _Sir Sim._ [_Aside._] I must have a plot for her, she is a coy woman.--[_Aloud._] I vow and swear if you pass this crevice,[45] I'll kiss you in plain English. _L. Flip._ I would I could see that!--do you defy me! [_Steps to him--he kisses her._ _Sir Sim._ [_Aside._] How's this! I vow and swear, she kisses as tamely as Mrs. Ticklish, and with her mouth open too. _L. Flip._ I thought you would have been ashamed to have done so to your master's own sister! _Sir Sim._ I hope you'll be quiet now, madam? _L. Flip._ Nay, I'll be revenged of you sure. _Sir Sim._ If you come again, I shall do more to you than that.--[_Aside._] I'll pursue my plot and try if she be honest. _L. Flip._ You do more to me than that! nay, if you'll do more to me than that--[_She throws down his ink and runs out, he following her._ _Enter_ Mrs. JOYNER. _Mrs. Joyn._ I must visit my young clients in the meantime. _Re-enter_ Sir SIMON, _holding up his hands._ What's the matter, Sir Simon? _Sir Sim._ Lord! who would have thought it? _Mrs. Joyn._ What ails you, Sir Simon? _Sir Sim._ I have made such a discovery, Mrs. Joyner! _Mrs. Joyn._ What is't? _Sir Sim._ Such a one that makes me at once glad and sorry; I am sorry my Lady Flippant is naught, but I'm glad I know it:--thanks still to my disguise. _Mrs. Joyn._ Fy! fy! _Sir Sim._ Nay, this hand can tell-- _Mrs. Joyn._ But how? _Sir Sim._ She threw down my ink-glass, and ran away into the next room; I followed her, and, in revenge, threw her down upon the bed:--but, in short, all that I could do to her would not make her squeak. _Mrs. Joyn._ She was out of breath, man, she was out of breath.