_Gripe._ Marry a wit! _Enter_ DAPPERWIT, RANGER, LYDIA, VALENTINE, CHRISTINA, _and_ VINCENT. DAPPERWIT _stops them, and they stand all behind._ _Dap._ What, is he here! Lucy and her mother! [_Aside._ _Gripe._ Tell me how thou camest to marry a wit. _Mrs. Mar._ Pray be not angry, sir, and I'll give you a good reason. _Gripe._ Reason for marrying a wit! _Mrs. Mar._ Indeed, I found myself six months gone with child, and saw no hopes of your getting me a husband, or else I had not married a wit, sir. _Mrs. Joyn._ Then you were the wit. _Gripe._ Had you that reason? nay, then----[_Holding up his hands._ _Dap._ How's that! [_Aside._ _Ran._ Who would have thought, Dapperwit, you would have married a wench? _Dap._ [_To_ RANGER.]--Well, thirty thousand pounds will make me amends; I have known my betters wink, and fall on for five or six.--[_To_ GRIPE _and the rest._] What! you are come, sir, to give me joy? you Mrs. Lucy, you and you? well, unbid guests are doubly welcome.--Sir Simon, I made bold to invite these ladies and gentlemen.--For you must know, Mr. Ranger, this worthy Sir Simon does not only give me my wedding supper, but my mistress too; and is, as it were, my father. _Sir Sim._ Then I am, as it were, a grandfather to your new wife's _Hans en kelder_;[49] to which you are but, as it were, a father! there's for you again, sir--ha, ha!-- _Ran._ Ha! ha! ha!--[_To_ VINCENT. _Dap._ Fools sometimes say unhappy things, if we would mind 'em; but--what! melancholy at your daughter's wedding, sir? _Gripe._ How deplorable is my condition! _Dap._ Nay, if you will rob me of my wench, sir, can you blame me for robbing you of your daughter? I cannot be without a woman. _Gripe._ My daughter, my reputation, and my money gone!--but the last is dearest to me. Yet at once I may retrieve that, and be revenged for the loss of the other: and all this by marrying Lucy here: I shall get my five hundred pounds again, and get heirs to exclude my daughter and frustrate Dapperwit; besides, 'tis agreed on all hands, 'tis cheaper keeping a wife than a wench. [_Aside._ _Dap._ If you are so melancholy, sir, we will have the fiddles and a dance to divert you; come! _A Dance._ _Gripe._ Indeed, you have put me so upon a merry pin, that I resolve to marry too. _L. Flip._ Nay, if my brother come to marrying once, I may too; I swore I would, when he did, little thinking-- _Sir Sim._ I take you at your word, madam. _L. Flip._ Well, but if I had thought you would have been so quick with me-- _Gripe._ Where is your parson? _Dap._ What! you would not revenge yourself upon the parson? _Gripe._ No, I would have the parson revenge me upon you; he should marry me. _Dap._ I am glad you are so frolic, sir; but who would you marry? _Gripe._ That innocent lady. [_Pointing to_ LUCY. _Dap._ That innocent lady! _Gripe._ Nay, I am impatient, Mrs. Joyner; pray fetch him up if he be yet in the house.