"I don't believe there is," he added. "It's not likely, and the law
makes as good a will for him as he could have made for himself." He
thought for a minute, and then went on. "I felt a great reluctance, Miss
Ware, to talk upon these unpleasant subjects: but it would not have been
either kind or honest to be silent. You and your mamma will meet your
change of circumstances with good sense and good feeling, I am sure. A
very great change, I fear, it will be. You are not to consider me as a
professional man, tell your mamma. I am acting as a friend. I wish to do
all I can to prevent expense, and to put you in possession of the facts
as quickly and clearly as I can, and then you will know exactly the case
you have to deal with."
He took his leave, with the same air of care, thought, and suppressed
fuss which belongs to the overworked man of business.
When these people make a present of their time, they are giving us
something more than gold. I was not half grateful enough to him then.
Thought and years have enabled me to estimate his good-nature.
I was standing at the window of a back drawing-room, a rather dark room,
pondering on the kind but alarming words, at which, as at the sound of a
bell, the curtain seemed to rise for a new act in my life. These worldly
terrors were mingling a new poison in my grief. The vulgar troubles,
which are the hardest to bear, were near us. At this inopportune moment
I heard the servant announce some one, and, looking over my shoulder
quickly, I saw Mr. Carmel come in. I felt myself grow pale. I saw his
eye wander for a moment in search, I fancied, of mamma. I did not speak
or move. The mirror reflected my figure back upon myself as I turned
towards him. What did he see? Not quite the same Ethel Ware he had been
accustomed to. My mourning-dress made me look taller, thinner, and paler
than before. I could not have expected to see him; I looked, I suppose,
as I felt, excited, proud, pained, resentful.
He came near; his dark eyes looked at me inquiringly. He extended his
hand, hesitated, and said:
"I am afraid I did wrong. I ought not to have asked to see you."
"We have not seen anyone--mamma or I--except one old friend, who came a
little time ago."
My own voice sounded cold and strange in my ear; I felt angry and
contemptuous. Had I not reason? I did not give him my hand, or appear to
perceive that he had advanced his. I could see, though I did not look
direct at him, that he seemed pained.
"I thought, perhaps, that I had some claim, also, as an old friend," he
began, and paused.
"Oh! I quite forgot that," I repeated, in the same tones; "an old
friend, to be sure." I felt that I smiled bitterly.
"You look at me as if you hated me, Miss Ware," he said--"why should
you? What have I done?"
"Why do you ask me? Ask yourself. Look into your conscience. I think,
Mr. Carmel, you are the last person who should have come here."
"I won't affect to misunderstand you; you think I influenced Lady
Lorrimer," he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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