In his retention of this damning piece of evidence, and his withdrawing
himself so carefully from my presence, coupled with my knowledge of the
principles that bound him to treat all private considerations, feelings,
and friendships as non-existent, when they stood ever so little in the
way of his all-pervading and supreme duty to his order--there was a
sinister augury. I lived in secret terror; no wonder I was not
recovering quickly.
One day, when we had sat a long time silent, I asked Rebecca how I was
dressed the night I had gone to Lord Chellwood's. I was immensely
relieved when she told me, among other things, that I had worn a thick
black veil. This was all I wanted to be assured of; for I could not
implicitly rely upon my recollection through the haze and mirage of
fever. It was some comfort to think that neither Monsieur Droqville nor
Mr. Marston could have recognised my features.
In this state of suspense I continued for two or three weeks. At the end
of that time a little adventure happened. I was sitting in an arm-chair,
in our drawing-room, with pillows about me, one afternoon, and had
fallen into a doze. Mamma was in the room, and, when I had last seen
her, was reading her Bible, which she now did sometimes for hours
together--sometimes with tears, always with the trembling interest of
one who has lost everything else.
I had fallen asleep. I was waked by tones that terrified me. I thought
that I was still dreaming, or that I had lost my reason. I heard the
nasal and energetic tones of Monsieur Droqville, talking with his
accustomed rapidity in the room--not to mamma, for, as I afterwards
found, she had left the room while I was asleep, but to Rebecca.
Happily for me, a screen stood between me and the door, and I suppose he
did not know that I was in the room. At every movement of his foot on
the floor, at every harsh emphasis in his talk, my heart bounded. I was
afraid to move, almost to breathe, lest I should draw his attention to
me.
My illness had quite unnerved me. I was afraid that, restless and
inquisitive as I knew him to be, he would peep round the screen, and see
and talk to me. I did not know the object of his visit; but in terror I
surmised it, and I lay among my pillows, motionless, and with my eyes
closed, while I heard him examine Rebecca, sharply, as to the date of my
illness, and the nature of it.
"When was Miss Ware last out, before her illness?" he asked at length.
"I could not tell you that exactly, sir," answered Rebecca, evasively.
"She left the house but seldom, just before she was took ill; for her
mamma being very bad, she was but little out of doors then."
He made a pretence of learning the facts of my case simply as a
physician, and he offered in that capacity to see me at the moment. He
asked the question in an off-hand way. "I can see her, I dare say? I'm a
doctor, you know. Where is Miss Ware?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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