"Come, Ethel, let us think it over; it seems to me that we have nothing
for it, for the present, but submission. I am perfectly certain that our
attachment is not suspected. If it were, far more cruel and effectual
measures would be taken. We must, therefore, be cautious. Let us betray
nothing of our feelings. You shall see me undergo the ordeal with the
appearance of carelessness, and even cheerfulness, although my heart be
bursting. You, darling, must do the same; one way or other I will manage
to see you sometimes, and to correspond regularly. We are bound each to
the other by promises we dare not break, and when I desert you, may God
desert me! Ethel, will you say the same?"
"Yes, Richard," I repeated, vehemently, through sobs, "when I forsake
you, may God forsake me! You know I could not live without you. Oh!
Richard, darling, how shall I see you all this evening, knowing it to be
the last? How can I look at you, or hear your voice, and yet no sign,
and talk or listen just as usual, as if nothing had gone wrong? Richard,
is there no way to escape? Do you think if we told your uncle? Might it
not be the best thing after all? Could it possibly make matters worse?"
"Yes, it would, a great deal worse; that is not to be thought of," said
Richard, with a thoughtful frown; "I know him better than you do. No; we
have nothing for it but patience, and entire trust in one another. As
for me, if I am away from you, the more solitary I am, the more bearable
my lot. With you it will be different; you will soon be in the stream
and whirl of your old life. I shall lose you, Ethel." He stamped on the
ground, and struck his forehead with his open hand in sheer distraction.
"As for me, I can enjoy nothing without you; I may have been violent,
wicked, reckless, what you will; but selfish or fickle, no one ever
called me."
I was interrupting him all the time with my passionate vows of fidelity,
which he seemed hardly to hear; he was absorbed in his own thoughts.
After a silence of a minute or two, he said, suddenly:
"Look here, Ethel; if you don't like your London life, you can't be as
well there as here, and you can, if you will, satisfy my uncle that you
are better, as well as happier, here at Golden Friars. You can do that,
and that is the way to end it--the only way to end it that I see. You
can write to me, Ethel, without danger. You will, I know, every day,
just a line; and when you tell me how to address mine, you shall have an
answer by every post. Don't go out in London, Ethel; you must promise
that."
I did, vehemently and reproachfully. I wondered how he could suspect me
of wishing to go out. But I could not resent the jealousy that proved
his love.
It was, I think, just at this moment that I heard a sound that made my
heart bound within me, and then sink with terror. It was the clear, deep
voice of Sir Harry, so near that it seemed a step must bring him round
the turn in the path, and full in view of us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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