Willow the king : $b The story of a cricket matchSnaith, J. C. (John Collis)
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Willow the king : $b The story of a cricket match
Snaith, J. C. (John Collis)
Cricket stories; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories
Grace had shown her hand with a vengeance. The library windows were
sufficiently far away to be likely to receive one of Archie’s best
hits. It was plain that this knowledge rendered the batsman very
uneasy. Invitingly simple balls, that he would have taken a mild
pleasure in lifting into the Lords’ pavilion, he felt bound to treat
with every respect, as a momentary indiscretion was likely to have
the direst consequences. But presently the flesh was no longer to be
denied. Having patiently withstood the insidious charms of six or
seven, his self-repression suddenly gave way, and, exactly as the
bowler anticipated, smash went the ball through the library windows. It
was vain that Elphinstone, celebrated out-field as he was, attempted
to get at it. A painfully significant crashing of glass testified to
the unfailing judgment of W. G. A moment later, to the consternation of
every witness of the incident, out came the reverend occupant of the
library, spectacted and bareheaded, _The Times_ newspaper fluttering in
his hand, and a great indignation hovering about him generally.
“I positively won’t have it!” he cried in his deepest tones. “It’s
shameful! Do you know what that window’s worth? And are you aware that
you’ve damaged the new _Encyclopædia Britannica_?”
“Well, father,” said W. G. penitently, “we are all of us ever so
dreadfully sorry,” and then made haste to append, “but you know you
bought the Cycling--what-do-you-call-it--quite against my advice,
didn’t you, father? Don’t believe in these great bargains. You men
don’t either, do you?”
“Oh no, we don’t,” chimed everybody, with wonderful conviction and
unanimity.
“I knew you didn’t,” said Grace, with great enthusiasm. “I was certain
that you didn’t.”
Our extreme distrust of the _Encyclopædia Britannica_, considered as an
investment, grew quite noticeable.
Incredible as it may seem, however, Miss Grace’s parent did not allow
these earnestly-expressed opinions to bias his own in the matter of
window breaking. Indeed, they were as fervently uttered as ours, and,
if anything, more pointed. Nor did he abate in his behaviour, nor
did his _Times_ cease its fluttering till he suddenly observed the
situation of the wicket, and the mighty cricketer beside it. Thereupon
the change in his demeanour was as instant as it was welcome.
“What!” he cried, “was it hit from there? Extraordinary, most
extraordinary! Archie, let me feel that bat. And, Biffin, will you
please fetch the tape. This must be measured. Considerably more than a
hundred yards, I’ll wager.”
Next moment he was brandishing Archie’s bat, in a manner that plainly
said that this was not the first bat handle that had exercised his grip.
“A Warsop, is it?” said the veteran. “I remember ’em. Once remember
putting old Mat Kempson out of Prince’s with one of Ben’s. Old Matthew
_was_ annoyed. Beautifully balanced this is. Must be every ounce of
two-seven, yet it picks up like two-two.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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