Wilson's Tales of the Borders and of Scotland, Volume 01
General
Wilson's Tales of the Borders and of Scotland, Volume 01
Scottish Borders (Scotland) -- Fiction
"You surprise and distress me," I rejoined. "Have you not accomplished
all you so fondly purposed--realized even your warmest wishes? And this,
too, in early life. Your most sanguine hopes pointed but to a name,
which you yourself perhaps was never to hear, but which was to dwell on
men's tongues when the grave had closed over you. And now the name is
gained, and you live to enjoy it. I see the _living_ part of your lot,
and it seems instinct with happiness; but in what does the _dead_, the
stony part, consist?"
He shook his head, and looked up mournfully in my face; there was a
pause of a few seconds. "You, Mr. Lindsay," he at length replied, "you
who are of an equable steady temperament, can know little, from
experience, of the unhappiness of the man who lives only in extremes,
who is either madly gay or miserably depressed. Try and realize the
feelings of one whose mind is like a broken harp--all the medium tones
gone, and only the higher and lower left; of one, too, whose
circumstances seem of a piece with his mind, who can enjoy the exercise
of his better powers, and yet can only live by the monotonous drudgery
of copying page after page in a clerk's office; of one who is
continually either groping his way amid a chill melancholy fog of
nervous depression, or carried headlong, by a wild gaiety, to all which
his better judgment would instruct him to avoid; of one who, when he
indulges most in the pride of superior intellect, cannot away with the
thought that that intellect is on the eve of breaking up, and that he
must yet rate infinitely lower in the scale of rationality than any of
the nameless thousands who carry on the ordinary concerns of life around
him."
I was grieved and astonished, and knew not what to answer. "You are in a
gloomy mood to-day," I at length said; "you are immersed in one of the
fogs you describe; and all the surrounding objects take a tinge of
darkness from the medium through which you survey them. Come, now, you
must make an exertion, and shake off your melancholy. I have told you
all my story, as I best could, and you must tell me all yours in
return."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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