Wilson's Tales of the Borders and of Scotland, Volume 11
General
Wilson's Tales of the Borders and of Scotland, Volume 11
Scottish Borders (Scotland) -- Fiction
"Yes," replied he. "My mind has been dead or entranced for a year.
This is the only thing in the world I have met wi' during my sorrow
capable o' putting life into my soul. It seems as if all the energies
that have been lying useless for that period had risen at the magic
power o' this wonderfu book, to pour their collected strength upon its
pages."
"Then it has served its end," said I, doubting greatly the truth of my
own statement. "I sent it for the purpose of entertaining you--that
is--interesting you."
"Entertaining me!" he ejaculated. "You mean, binding my soul wi' iron
bands: my heart now loves the misery it formerly loathed. But, sir, I
am not _fed_ with this food. I devour it wi' a false and ravenous
appetite; and were there a thousand volumes, I think I could read
them a' before I broke bread or closed an ee."
He rolled out these words with a volubility and an enthusiasm that
surprised me. It was clear that I had poisoned the mind of this poor
man. I had stimulated and partly fed his appetite for horrors.
Familiarity with fearful objects kills the terror, and sometimes
raises in its place a morbid affection--a fact established in France
at the end of the last century by an empirical test of a horrific
character, but which no knowledge of man's mind could have dreamed of
_à priori_. Why had I forgotten this matter of history, and allowed
myself to be led astray by vain theories and partial experiments? What
was I now to do? The man's appetite for the bloody narratives was so
strong, that, even while I was thus cogitating, his greedy eye had
again sought the page. It was necessary that I should conceal from him
my apprehensions, and take up his words on a feigned construction.
"This kind of reading," said I, "interests you, I presume, because it
fills your mind with a salutary disgust and terror--makes you loathe
the act of the suicide--and mans your soul against the hateful purpose
you entertained against your own life."
He looked to the door, and beckoned to me to see if it was shut. I
went and satisfied him that it was, while I was myself assured that
she whom he was so anxious to deceive was again at her post behind it.
"You ask me," he continued, "if this book has disgusted or terrified
me against my purpose o' deein. Are we disgusted and terrified at what
we love? I hae seen the day when thae stories had sma' attraction for
me. But, alas! alas! I am a changed--a fearfully changed man. My soul
now gloats owre tales o' crime and scenes o' blood. To me there is an
interest, an indescribable, mysterious interest in this book, beyond
the charm o' the miser's wealth, or the bridegroom's bride--ay, sir,
or what I ance thocht was in life to the deein sinner. It is a
medicine; but"--pausing, and eyeing me sorrowfully--"do you mean it to
_kill_ or _cure_?"
"To save you from self-destruction," said I--"the most fearful and the
most cowardly of all the terminations of human life."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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