Wilson's Tales of the Borders and of Scotland, Volume 11
General
Wilson's Tales of the Borders and of Scotland, Volume 11
Scottish Borders (Scotland) -- Fiction
"This is nature and truth," said I, after a pause--"powers a thousand
times stronger than the brain-sick fancies of a diseased mind. It is
the voice of God himself, sounding through the heart, and, like the
electric energy, heaving it with convulsive throes, as if to cast
forth from it the impious daring and unnatural purpose you have
cherished in it so long that no lesser power will expel it. I rejoice
in these throes; cherish them and aid them, for they are the
expulsers of poison that, having got into your blood, and reached the
heart, the seat of life, madly stimulates it to self-destruction. This
is the time--here is the vantage-ground of a return to all that is
right, true, and good, from cowardice, cruelty, irreligion, and even
rebellion against God!"
"Listen to him--listen to him!" cried the young woman, still sobbing.
"Hear thae words o' truth, for they are sent from Heaven. Receive them
into your heart, and it will be changed, and I will live to see my
father enjoy life and be happy."
"_When?_" groaned the miserable man, satirically, as if roused by the
sound of the distasteful word "happy." "When I am sittin at the window
o' a prison, thinkin o' my dead Agnes, and lookin at the red settin o'
my sixty-fifth sun?"
These words showed that the struggle had been ineffectual. Released
from the grasp of his daughter, who sat at the side of the bed, he
doggedly and sternly folded his arms, and relapsed into a silent fit
of dejection. No effort would make him open his lips. There seemed to
be no principle of reaction in his moral economy; all was penetrated
by a fatal lethargy, which closed up every issue, broke every spring
of living thought, feeling, or motion. My professional knowledge was
entirely useless, my personal services unavailing. I called to him
loudly to answer me, and got no reply but deep groans. I even shook
him roughly, and tried to bend his head to his weeping daughter. My
efforts were quickened by a sense that bore in upon me with fearful
strength and importunity, that I had, by experimenting on his mind,
and filling it with images of horror, increased the disease I intended
to cure. Pained beyond measure, I was anxious to redeem my fault and
correct my error by getting him again engaged in conversation, whereby
I might have a last opportunity of drawing him into a train of thought
which might lead to a sense of his awful condition, and a prospect of
escaping from its present misery, and its horrible consequences. But
my medicine had operated too powerfully. There he sat, unmoved,
immoveable--a sad and melancholy victim of the worst species of
hypochondria--that which exhibits as one of its pathognomonic
symptoms, the desire, the determination, persevered in through all
difficulties, all oppositions, all wiles and schemes, to commit
self-murder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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