"But just exactly six months and three days afterwards, a clerk belonging to a branch o' the Commercial Bank called upon me, and, after making his bow, said he--'Mr Middlemiss, I have a bill to present to you.' "'A bill!' said I, 'what sort o' a bill, sir? Is it an auctioneer's, for a roup o' furniture or a sale o' stock?' "He laughed quite good-natured like in my face, and pulling out the bit stamped paper that I had been madman enough to sign my name upon the back o'--'It is that, sir,' said he. "'That!' cried I; 'what in the earthly globe have I to do wi' that? It is Mr Swanston's business--not mine. I only put my name upon the back o't to _oblige_ him. Why do ye bring it to me?' "'You are responsible, sir,' said the clerk. "'Responsible! the meikle mischief!' I exclaimed; 'what am I responsible for, sir?--I only put my name doun to oblige him, I tell ye! For what am I responsible?' "'For three hundred pounds, and legal interest for six months,' said my unwelcome visiter, wi' a face that shewed as little concern for the calamity in which, through mere simplicity and goodness of heart, I was involved, as if he had ordered me to take a pipe, and blow three hundred soap-bubbles! "'Oh! lack-o'-me!' cried I, 'is that possible? Is Mr Swanston sic a villain? I am ruined--I am clean ruined. Who in all the world will tell Nancy?' "But that I found was a question that I did not need to ask; for she kenned almost as soon as I did mysel'. "I need not say that I had the three hundred pounds, ineerest and all, plack and farthing, to pay; though, by my folly and simplicity, I had brought my wife and family to the verge o' ruin, she never was the woman to fling my silly conduct in my teeth; and all that she ever did say to me upon the subject, was--'Weel, Nicholas, this is the first o' your bill transactions, or o' your being caution for onybody, and I trust it has proved such a lesson as I hope ye will never need another.' "'O Nancy, woman!' cried I, 'dinna speak to me! for I could knock my brains oot! I am the greatest simpleton upon the face o' the earth.' "Now, that was one instance o' my simple conduct and its consequences, and I will just relate to you another or two. I had bought some ninety pounds worth o' flax from a merchant in Glasgow, for which I was to receive six months' credit. Weel, he came round for his money at the appointed time, and I paid him accordingly, and got a line off his hand in acknowledgment. On that very day, and just about an hour after he had left, Nancy says to me--'Nicholas, I dinna owre and aboon like that man that ye hae been dealing wi' the day. He has owre muckle gab, and scraping, and bowing for me. I wish he may be honest. Have ye got a receipt from him?' "'Certainly,' says I; 'do ye think I would pay onybody money without one?' "'And I hope it is on a stamp,' said she. "'A stamp!' quoth I--'a stamp!--hoots, woman! I wonder to see ye so suspicious. Ye dinna tak a' the world to be rogues?'