I can’t sit still, so I climb to the hilltop. I am calmer in motion.
I can see the village from the hilltop. It is being claimed by the
twilight, the soft, slow, lingering spring twilight. There must be
a lot of moisture to make such a brilliant aftermath. The heavens
are so pink they have tinged the eastern hills. League on league the
cloud waves blush pink as the heart of a seashell. The whole world
glows. My mood catches the sky’s glowing mood. It is explained. He
has been ill unto death, but he is not dead—he is alive—_alive_.
Something drops from my belt and I pick it up and stare at it
stupidly. It is Dicky’s little letter. Dicky will know about Bobby.
She will explain their presence together that night at Mouquin’s.
“Caroline, is your right hand paralyzed that I don’t hear from
you? Do a lot of little tow-headed mountaineers and a garden that
I know is at its loveliest now mean more to you than I do? I can’t
understand your silence. I am coming home. I am to have my vacation
now, and I am to keep on having it. Somebody’s with me. He is the
secret of the prolonged vacation. I guess it will be in June. That’s
the loveliest time of all. He will be here only a day or two, three
at the longest, and I hate to think of him at that dinky little
Marsville hotel. Hotel! Ye gods! Come to New York and we will show
you some hotels. Dearest, won’t you, won’t you, have him home with
us? There are some such ducks of places to spoon these moonlit nights
in that heavenly rose garden of yours.”
Did I cry out in that sharp pain, or was it some wounded thing out
there in the shadow of the woods? Steadily I finish the letter. It
is to-day—now, at twilight—when the hack gets in, that Dicky and her
lover are coming. She apologizes that we do not know earlier, but
mammy and I are equal to any emergency. I do feel sorry for mammy,
but I walk on straight into the sunset glare, leaving mammy to her
fate. That is my only sensation—I am sorry for mammy. She does love
to splurge when company comes.
Far down the road I see a buggy. It is coming this way. There are two
people in it, but it is too far away to recognize faces. It is two
men. It stops. One man gets out, the other turns the buggy around
and drives back toward the village. The man who got out of the buggy
walks on in the rose-red haze that wraps the world. The lilies of the
valley that I thrust in my belt send out a sudden fragrance—it is the
trembling of my body that has shaken them. I stop because I can’t
walk on. I lean against a friendly tree-trunk.
The man comes on, moving slowly, feebly, I see as he gets nearer. I
think of trivial things, as we do in crisic moments. Bobby is taller
than I thought. The hat he is wearing adds distinction to one who is
already distingué. The crease in his trousers will be copied by the
young men of Marsville. From somewhere in me a faint satisfaction
stirs that the party has left me wearing my best new gown, my hair
done in a New York way.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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