Let wise Men invent, 'till the World be deceived, Let Fools thrive thro' Fortune, and Knaves be believed; Let such as are rich know no Want, but Content, Let others be plagu'd to pay Taxes and Rent: With more Freedom and Pleasure my Time I'll employ, And covet no Blessings but what we enjoy. Then let's celebrate _Crispin_ with Bumpers and Songs, And they that drink Foul, may it blister their Tongues, Here's two in a Hand, and let no one deny 'em, Since _Crispin_ in Youth was a _Seat's-man_ as I am. _The Female Scuffle. To the foregoing Tune._ Of late in the Park a fair Fancy was seen, Betwixt an old _Baud_ and a lusty young _Quean_; Their parting of Money began the uproar, I'll have half says the _Baud_, but you shan't says the _Whore_: Why 'tis my own House, I care not a Louse, I'll ha' three parts in four, or you get not a Souse. 'Tis I, says the _Whore_, must take all the Pains, And you shall be damn'd e'er you get all the Gains; The _Baud_ being vex'd, straight to her did say, Come off wi' your _Duds_, and I pray pack away, And likewise your _Ribbonds_, your _Gloves_, and your _Hair_, For naked you came, and so out you go bare; Then _Buttocks_ so bold, Began for to Scold, _Hurrydan_ was not able her _Clack_ for to hold. Both _Pell-Mell_ fell to't, and made this uproar, With these Compliments, th'art a _Baud_, th'art a _Whore_: The _Bauds_ and the _Buttocks_ that liv'd there around, Came all to the Case, both _Pockey_ and _Sound_, To see what the reason was of this same Fray, That did so disturb them before it was Day; If I tell you amiss, Let me never more Piss, This _Buttocks_ so bold she named was _Siss_. By _Quiffing_ with _Cullies_ three Pound she had got, And but one part of four must fall to her Lot; Yet all the _Bauds_ cry'd, let us turn her out bare, Unless she will yield to return her half share; If she will not, we'll help to strip off her Cloaths, And turn her abroad with a slit o' the Nose: Who when she did see, There was no Remedy, For her from the Tyranous _Bauds_ to get free; The _Whore_ from the Money was forced to yield, And in the Conclusion the _Baud_ got the Field. _An Elegy on_ MOUNTFORT. _To the foregoing Tune._ Poor _Mountfort_ is gone, and the Ladies do all Break their Hearts for this Beau, as they did for _Duvall_; And they the two Brats for this Tragedy damn At _Kensington_ Court, and the Court of _Bantam_, They all vow and Swear, That if any Peer, Should acquit this young Lord, he shou'd pay very dear; Nor will they be pleased with him who on the Throne is, If he do's not his part to revenge their _Adonis_.