Africa, West -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
“I leave my name with you,” he said. “It is probable that you will be
put to some inconvenience. I can only regret that this--denouement did
not come some months ago. You are likely to suffer more than I, because
I do not care what the world thinks of me. Therefore you may tell the
world what you choose about me--that I drink, that I gamble, that I am
lacking in--honour! Anything that suggests itself to you, in fact. You
need not go away; I will do that.”
She listened with compressed lips and heaving shoulders; and the
bitterest drop in her cup was the knowledge that he despised her. During
the last few minutes he had said and done nothing that lowered him in
her estimation--that touched in any way her love for him. He had not
lowered himself in any way, but he had suavely trodden her under foot.
His last words--the inexorable intention of going away--sapped her last
lingering hope. She could never regain even a tithe of his affection.
“I think,” he went on, “that you will agree with me in thinking that
Guy Oscard's name must be kept out of this entirely. I give you carte
blanche except that.”
With a slight inclination of the head he walked to the door. It was
characteristic of him that although he walked slowly he never turned his
head nor paused.
Oscard followed him with the patient apathy of the large and mystified.
And so they left her--amidst the disorder of the half-unpacked wedding
presents--amidst the ruin of her own life. Perhaps, after all, she was
not wholly bad. Few people are; they are only bad enough to be wholly
unsatisfactory and quite incomprehensible. She must have known the risk
she was running, and yet she could not stay her hand. She must have
known long before that she loved Jack Meredith, and that she was playing
fast and loose with the happiness of her whole life. She knew that
hundreds of girls around her were doing the same, and, with all shame
be it mentioned, not a few married women. But they seemed to be able
to carry it through without accident or hindrance. And illogically,
thoughtlessly, she blamed her own ill-fortune.
She stood looking blankly at the door which had closed behind three
men--one old and two young--and perhaps she realised the fact that such
creatures may be led blindly, helplessly, with a single hair, but that
that hair may snap at any moment.
She was not thinking of Guy Oscard. Him she had never loved. He had only
been one of her experiments, and by his very simplicity--above all, by
his uncompromising honesty--he had outwitted her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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