Bildungsromans; France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Villages -- France -- Fiction
element of weakness to her expression, she would not perhaps have found
the strength to resist. And, crowned by a feather that was a trifle
old-fashioned and pretentious, the grey felt hat which she invariably
wore at meals made her all the more attractive to me, not because it was
in harmony with her pearly or rosy complexion, but because, by making me
suppose her to be poor, it brought her closer to myself. Obliged by her
father's presence to adopt a conventional attitude, but already bringing
to the perception and classification of the people who passed before her
eyes other principles than his, perhaps she saw in me not my humble
rank, but the right sex and age. If one day M. de Stermaria had gone out
leaving her behind, if, above all, Mme. de Villeparisis, by coming to
sit at our table, had given her an opinion of me which might have
emboldened me to approach her, perhaps then we might have contrived to
exchange a few words, to arrange a meeting, to form a closer tie. And
for a whole month during which she would be left alone, without her
parents, in her romantic Breton castle, we should perhaps have been able
to wander by ourselves at evening, she and I together in the dusk which
would shew in a softer light above the darkening water pink briar roses,
beneath oak trees beaten and stunted by the hammering of the waves.
Together we should have roamed that isle impregnated with so intense a
charm for me because it had enclosed the everyday life of Mlle. de
Stermaria and lay at rest in her remembering eyes. For it seemed to me
that I should not really have possessed her save there, when I should
have traversed those regions which enveloped her in so many memories--a
veil which my desire sought to tear apart, one of those veils which
nature interposes between woman and her pursuers (with the same
intention as when, for all of us, she places the act of reproduction
between ourselves and our keenest pleasure, and for insects, places
before the nectar the pollen which they must carry away with them) in
order that, tricked by the illusion of possessing her thus more
completely, they may be forced to occupy first the scenes among which
she lives, and which, of more service to their imagination than sensual
pleasure can be, yet would not without that pleasure have had the power
to attract them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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