Bildungsromans; France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Villages -- France -- Fiction
Mme. de Villeparisis's carriage moved fast. Scarcely had I time to see
the girl who was coming in our direction; and yet--as the beauty of
people is not like the beauty of things, as we feel that it is that of
an unique creature, endowed with consciousness and free-will--as soon as
her individuality, a soul still vague, a will unknown to me, presented a
tiny picture of itself, enormously reduced but complete, in the depths
of her indifferent eyes, at once, by a mysterious response of the
pollen ready in me for the pistils that should receive it, I felt
surging through me the embryo, as vague, as minute, of the desire not to
let this girl pass without forcing her mind to become conscious of my
person, without preventing her desires from wandering to some one else,
without coming to fix myself in her dreams and to seize and occupy her
heart. Meanwhile our carriage rolled away from her, the pretty girl was
already left behind, and as she had--of me--none of those notions which
constitute a person in one's mind, her eyes which had barely seen me had
forgotten me already. Was it because I had caught but a fragmentary
glimpse of her that I had found her so attractive? It may have been. In
the first place, the impossibility of stopping when I came to her, the
risk of not meeting her again another day, give at once to such a girl
the same charm as a place derives from the illness or poverty that
prevents us from visiting it, or the so unadventurous days through which
we should otherwise have to live from the battle in which we shall
doubtless fall. So that, if there were no such thing as habit, life must
appear delightful to those of us who would at every moment be threatened
with death--that is to say, to all mankind. Then, if our imagination is
set going by the desire for what we may not possess, its flight is not
limited by a reality completely perceived, in these casual encounters in
which the charms of the passing stranger are generally in direct ratio
to the swiftness of our passage. If only night is falling and the
carriage is moving fast, whether in town or country, there is not a
female torso, mutilated like an antique marble by the speed that tears
us away and the dusk that drowns it, but aims at our heart, from every
turning in the road, from the lighted interior of every shop, the arrows
of Beauty, that Beauty of which we are sometimes tempted to ask
ourselves whether it is, in this world, anything more than the
complementary part that is added to a fragmentary and fugitive stranger
by our imagination over-stimulated by regret.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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