Bildungsromans; France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Villages -- France -- Fiction
that have remained beyond our reach, because our heart has not taken
possession of them. I felt that I was capable of exemplifying the
virtues of friendship better than most people (because I should always
place the good of my friends before those personal interests to which
other people were devoted but which did not count for me), but not of
finding happiness in a feeling which, instead of multiplying the
differences that there were between my nature and those of other
people--as there are among all of us--would cancel them. At the same
time my mind was distinguishing in Saint-Loup a personality more
collective than his own, that of the "noble"; which like an indwelling
spirit moved his limbs, ordered his gestures and his actions; then, at
such moments, although in his company, I was as much alone as I should
have been gazing at a landscape the harmony of which I could understand.
He was no more then than an object the properties of which, in my musing
contemplations, I sought to explore. The perpetual discovery in him of
this pre-existent, this aeonial creature, this aristocrat who was just
what Robert aspired not to be, gave me a keen delight, but one that was
intellectual and not social. In the moral and physical agility which
gave so much grace to his kindnesses, in the ease with which he offered
my grandmother his carriage and made her get into it, in the alacrity
with which he sprang from the box, when he was afraid that I might be
cold, to spread his own cloak over my shoulders, I felt not only the
inherited litheness of the mighty hunters who had been for generations
the ancestors of this young man who made no pretence save to
intellectuality, their scorn of wealth which, subsisting in him side by
side with his enjoyment of it simply because it enabled him to entertain
his friends more lavishly, made him so carelessly shower his riches at
their feet; I felt in him especially the certainty or the illusion in
the minds of those great lords of being "better than other people",
thanks to which they had not been able to hand down to Saint-Loup that
anxiety to shew that one is "just as good", that dread of seeming
inferior, of which he was indeed wholly unconscious, but which mars with
so much ugliness, so much awkwardness, the most sincere overtures of a
plebeian. Sometimes I found fault with myself for thus taking pleasure
in my friend as in a work of art, that is to say in regarding the play
of all the parts of his being as harmoniously ordered by a general idea
from which they depended but which he did not know, so that it added
nothing to his own good qualities, to that personal value, intellectual
and moral, to which he attached so high a price.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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