England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
“The young un’s off at last,” he said with a chuckle, marching into the
kitchen: when just before the end of the service in the Abbey, when all
the air about was ringing with the echo of the Amens, Purcell at last
screwed his courage to the sticking-point, and went out, to meet his
fate.
Poor young fellow, he could not have been more alarmed had he gone to
face a lion instead of a lady. The lion would have been nothing. He
would have called out for succour, and used whatever weapons he could
lay hold of; but nobody could help him with Lottie--no shield would
cover him from the lightnings of her eyes. It was all embarrassing, all
terrible; even if by any chance things should turn out in his favour, he
did not know what he should do. What could he call her? Not Lottie, that
was too familiar. Not Miss Despard. All these different and disjointed
thoughts seemed to float about his head in the maze of excitement he was
in--he was past thinking, but such questions kept floating in and out of
his mind. It was the most extraordinary relief when, going to the door
of Captain Despard’s house, he found that Lottie was out. If she had
been there, it seemed to Purcell that he would have run away--but she
was not there. He asked when she was expected back and went on,
recovering his breath. He could not go home again, where presently the
Signor would come from the Abbey and question him. The service, however,
was not so nearly over as he thought. It was a saint’s day, and there
was a sermon. The precincts were very still and deserted, for most
people were at church. Mrs. O’Shaughnessy, sitting at her window, saw
the young musician walk across the broad silent sunshine, but he did not
see her. He went up the Dean’s walk, hearing his own step echo through
the silence, and past the Deanery, and out upon the slopes beyond. It
was shady and sweet under the trees, which rose up close against the old
wall--and all was very quiet during the time of matins, though the town
went on with its usual hum down below at the foot of the hill. Purcell
began to recover himself a little and take breath as he came to this
shelter and refuge. Many a time had he strayed under these trees,
thinking of _her_, wondering if he ever might be able to approach her.
It was strange to be here, however, in the morning, the hour of work and
engagements, which he never had to himself, and to hear the far-off
sound of the organ pealing out after the sermon was over. All the common
occupations of life seemed to be suspended for Purcell. He felt as
ordinary men feel on an occasional stolen Sunday, when work is
suspended, and the duty of church-going put aside. All was so sweet, and
serene, and still--no one to disturb his thoughts: the sound of the
organ in the distance keeping him aware of the fact that he was
singularly, unprecedentedly liberated from his usual occupations: and
the tremor of agitation dying away into an excitement which was more
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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