England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
“If you mean the Zoological Gardens, I like that,” said Law, beginning
to see the fun of this examination; “and I should be very fond of
horses, if I had the chance. But that has nothing to say to an office.
Figures, ha? yes, I know. But I always hated counting. I see you think
there is nothing to be made of me. That is what I think myself. I have
often told her so. I shall have to ’list, as I have told her.” Law
looked at his companion with a little curiosity as he said this, hoping
to call forth an alarmed protestation.
But Mr. Ashford was not horrified. He was about to say, “It is the very
best thing you could do,” but stopped, on consideration, for Lottie’s
sake.
“You are a man to look at,” he said, “though you are young. Has it never
occurred to you till now to think what you would like to be? You did not
think you could go on for ever stumbling over ten lines of Virgil? I beg
your pardon, I don’t mean to be rude; but the most of us have to live by
something, and a young man like you ought to have a notion what he is
going to be about. You thought of the Civil Service?”
“I suppose Lottie did,” said Law, getting up and seizing his book. “It
is all her doing, from first to last; it is she that has always been
pushing and pushing. Yes; what’s the use of trying Virgil? I always felt
it was all bosh. I don’t know it, and what’s more, I don’t want to know
it. I am not one for reading; it’s not what I would ever have chosen; it
is all Lottie, with her nagging and her pushing. And so I may go home
and tell her you don’t think me fit for anything?” he added suddenly,
with a slight break of unexpected feeling in his voice.
“Don’t do anything of the kind. If you would only be open with me, tell
me what are your own ideas and intentions----”
“That’s what everybody says,” said Law, with a smile of half-amused
superiority; “open your mind. But what if you’ve got no mind to open?
_I_ don’t care what I do; I don’t intend anything; get me in somewhere,
and I’ll do the best I can. A fellow can’t speak any fairer than that.”
The Minor Canon looked at him with that gaze of baffled inquiry which is
never so effectually foiled as by the candid youth who has no intentions
of his own and no mind to open. Law stood before him, stretching out his
useless strength, with his useless book again under his arm--a human
being thoroughly wasted; no place for him in the Civil Service, no good
use in any of the offices. Why shouldn’t he ’list if he wished it? It
was the very best thing for him to do. But when Mr. Ashford thought of
Lottie this straightforward conclusion died on his lips.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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