England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Stepmothers -- Fiction
“But, on the other side,” said Law, feeling more and more confidence in
himself as he became used to the sound of his own voice, and felt
himself to be unanswerable, “on the other side, a singer gets jolly
pay--far better than any young fellow in an office; and you could quite
well afford to give me an allowance, so that I might get into the army
as a fellow ought. You might give me a hundred or two a year and never
feel it; and with that I could live upon my pay. And you needn’t be
afraid that I should be ashamed of you,” said generous Law; “not one
bit. I should stand by you and give you my countenance as long as you
conducted yourself to my satisfaction. I should never forsake you. When
you sang anywhere I’d be sure to go and clap you like a madman,
especially if you went under another name (they all do); that would
leave me more free. Now you must see, Lottie, a young fellow in an
office could not be much good to you, but you could be of great use to
me.”
Still Lottie did not make any reply. No more terrible enlightenment ever
came to an unsuspecting listener. She saw gradually rising before her as
he spoke, not only a new Law, but a new version of herself till this
moment unknown to her. This, as was natural, caught her attention most;
it made her gasp with horror and affright. Was this herself--Lottie? It
was the Lottie her brother knew. That glimpse of herself through Law’s
eyes confounded her. She seemed to see the coarse and matter-of-fact
young woman who wanted to live upon her brother’s work; to make his
dinners scanty in order that she might have a share, to interfere with
his companions and his pleasures--so distinctly, that her mouth was
closed and her very heart seemed to stop beating. Was this herself? Was
this how she appeared to other people’s eyes? She was too much
thunderstruck, overawed by it, to say anything. The strange difference
between this image and her own self-consciousness, her conviction that
it was for Law’s advantage she had been struggling; her devotion to the
interests of the family before everything, filled her with confusion and
bewilderment. Could it be she that was wrong, or was it he that was
unjust and cruel? The wonder and suddenness of it gave more poignant and
terrible force to the image of her which was evidently in Law’s mind.
All the selfish obtuseness of understanding, the inability to perceive
what she meant, or to understand the object of her anxiety, which had so
wounded and troubled her in Law, her brother had found in her. To him it
was apparent that what Lottie wanted was not his good, but that she
might have some one to work for her, some one to save her from working.
She gazed not at Law, but at the visionary representation of herself
which Law was seeing, with a pang beyond any words. She could not for
the moment realise the brighter image which he made haste to present
before her of the generous sister who made him an allowance, and enabled
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